My kids crack me up!

So I thought I would share some funny videos of the kids from recently. You can watch them here by hitting the play button or click the google link at the bottom of the video and watch them full screen.

This one is from dinner time last week of the twins....



This one is of Alex singing along and dancing with this barbie that Olivia got for Christmas. It just cracks me up!



My kids make me laugh!

Sad News for my Church

My mom just called to tell me that my sister in Salt Lake just heard that the prophet of our church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, just passed away. Gordon B Hinckley was the 15th prophet in the 177 year history of the church and was 97 years old and has done an enormous amount for our church during his time as prophet since March of 1995. He has built and dedicated more temples in his time as our prophet then any other prophet of our church. The Family a Proclamation to the World also came out from the first presidency and so did The Living Christ: A Testimony of the Apostles during his time as prophet. We had our ward conference today where our stake presidency came to our ward meeting today and I was just thinking how neat it is that they actually ask for a sustaining vote from the members to sustain all of our church leaders starting with the Prophet of the Church, Gordon B Hinckley all the way down to our ward bishopric. They do this in every ward world wide so members all around the world have the opportunity to sustain the leaders of our church. It is such a comforting thought that all around the world our church is the same. I wanted to quick bear my testimony to all of you that do read my blog that I knew this man to be a true prophet, seer, and revelator and can't imagine my life without the gospel of this church. I know that my Heavenly Father hears and answers my prayers and that without the knowledge I have of the plan of salvation my life would feel incomplete.
On another note, I am still sore. Still not sleeping all that great and still on my pain meds at night time. To boot I started having these sharp shooting pains on the left side of my left expander. Good times! It has been a busy week with Jon being gone again. He actually worked in this small northern WY town, Lovell. When he told me that is where he was headed from the Billings office I just laughed. It is a town of about 3000 and both my grandma and grandpa grew up there. They were high school sweethearts. It was cold there all week for Jon. I don't think it got about about 5 degrees all week, even during the day. On Monday when they got there it was 27 below zero. Yikes, that is artic weather. I was here again with the kids and felt like I didn't do much more than work and watch and clean up the kids.
Friday night I went to my girls night with the ladies I went through treatment with and that was fun to be able to catch up with them. The shooting pains I have started on Thrusday and I didn't go in to get filled this week. The gals on Friday that have had the expanders just said oh, get used to that. Great. Now I am regretting that I didn't go in to get filled and just suffered through it rather than dealing with this an extra week. Especially since I am still really sore. I also went in for a follow up with my radiation doctor, Dr. Lisella. She said that everything was looking great still but she wanted me to go to Physical Therapy. I have tight muscles on the radiated side still and don't have a full range of motion. That is something I need to look into this week and see about getting to PT.
Saturday Jon and I went out to celebrate his birthday with our friends Courtnee and Seth. We went out to eat and had a great time visiting and just enjoying seeing each other since Jon has been out of town working the last 2 weeks. I am hoping that the shooting pains from the expanders doesn't keep getting worse as the week goes on before I go in again next Thursday.
Jon spent some of his evening putting some things on Craigs List that we are trying to sell...his jeep, our ATV, and a tilt trailer. If you know anyone who might be interested in these PLEASE pass them on! I would love to get rid of these things.

Sore and double sore

Well I am glad to say that I made it three weeks in a row without and extreme amount of discomfort until this round. I have been extremely sore this last time around. I haven't had a good night sleep since Thursday after my fill and have just been uncomfortable. The last few times I have been pretty uncomfortable at night but usually OK during the day. This time I have stayed sore and uncomfortable day and night and taking my pain pills on a consistent basis. At my appointment on Thursday Dr Brewster said that I was about the same size on my left side as I was before surgery and could be done if I was satisfied with the size on that side or could keep expanding for about another month an be a medium size B. Hey, if I have made it this far it is worth it to be a little bigger then I was before and get what I want, right? So I am going to keep expanding although it was temping when she asked if I was ready to schedule surgery in 4 or 5 weeks. So I guess once the expanding is done I only have to wait a month or so to have the final surgery to get my implants placed. I am thinking at this point on Sunday evening I am going to probably skip expanding this week and give my body a break since I am still so sore. I have been using my heating pad on my chest the last 2 days in hopes of it helping more but I am not sure it is doing anything.
I ended up doing the frozen meals preparation at my friend Michelle's house on Friday morning with Alyssa, Michelle, and Melanie. We did 14 meals and hopefully it will be a big help with meal planning in the next few weeks. Jon didn't get home from his training until 2am on Saturday morning and now is going to be driving up to Billings MT to work this week. I am glad he has at least been here the last 2 days to help me with the kids and being so sore. Hopefully I will start sleeping better tonight and not being as sore tomorrow.
Yesterday Jon and I took the kids to Bounce (an indoor bounce house) with Heath and Alyssa and their family and then went out to eat at Costa Vida. It is an awesome Mexican restaurant that just opened and is similar to Qudoba. They have the best sweet pork....yummy! The kids always have such a great time at Bounce, but we don't go very often because it is kinda pricey. It was fun to spend some time together while he was here in town.

Dang cold, cold medicine, and prostate cancer

It was cold here today. cold. Dang cold. The HIGH was 15 plus it was windy. I hate it when it is that cold.
The kids and I spent the majority of our day at my friend Aislinn's new home. They just bought a new house and I was helping her unpack as the kids had fun running around and playing in her basement. We took a few car loads of stuff over there but it was just painful being outside when it is that cold. I was looking at pictures of her wedding and honeymoon which was in the summer and in Hawaii. Man I wish I was in Hawaii today.....or ever. Ha! I am watching the 10:00 news and the thermometer says 5. Crazy!
So speaking of the news I was going to share some interesting things I heard. First, the FDA has come out saying that cold and cough medicines should NEVER be used in infants and children under the age of 2 due to possible deadly side effects. Plus....saying that cold and cough medicines for children are a total hoax. Don't work, never have. Pretty interesting information. I give all my kids cough medicine when they up at night coughing and I thought they worked...
Second they now think they have discovered a gene sequence that dramatically raises the risk for prostate cancer that would predict who would get prostate cancer decades before hand. Modern medicine seriously amazes me. Click here to see that news report.
I have thought a ton about my treatment process today...My sister Toni called me this morning and told me to turn on GMA. Robyn Roberts celebrated her last day of chemo and they did a whole piece on her treatment process. The whole experience is too fresh in my mind to watch and not just bawl while I see someone else having to endure what I myself had to go through. The bald head, the emotions, getting her port tapped and in her words "my favorite part", just everything. She has a few segments that she talks about and on one of the diary segments she said she did her photo shoot with people magazine after her mother told her to make her mess, her message. What good advice. I hope I have been able to do that as well through my experience and my blog. I am still crying just writing about it and re watching all the news segments. Man that sucked! So that started my day off and then at Aislinn's house her daughter Isabella showed me her new blanket that was pink and had hearts and breast cancer ribbons on it. Aislinn told me they took the kids to the store on Christmas eve to do a tradition and make them new blankets. Isabella had picked out princess material and then saw this fabric and put her princess stuff back and said to her mom that she wanted the breast cancer ribbon fabric because it supports Eliza. How stinkin' sweet. Of course I started crying. I am such a baby.
I go in for a "fill up" tomorrow morning again. Honestly I am not feeling any more sore than I did last Wednesday so that is good. I thought I would be worse off this week than last. I am happy to be on the same "sore scale". We will see what tomorrow brings and how I am doing tomorrow night.
I finally called Directv again today since I am fed up with the receiver being poo. They will come out on Friday and service it and it will only cost a service contract for a year at 5.99 a month. Oh well, better than $299 for the new receiver. I figured we can re evaluate the cost of the HD stuff next year and possibly switch cable companies if someone else is cheaper rather then enter into a new 2 year contract as well by updating our equipment. Cable and phone companies and there dumb contracts. Oh well at least my tv will be working properly again, and just in time to start the new season of Lost on Jan 31st. Addicted.

Tuesday Jan 15th

I have been surviving with the kids the last few days. It has been a relief to not be taking the dog out and worrying about him as well. I went to Denver yesterday with my girlfriend Alyssa to check out a sale that the Children's Place was having only at the outlet. We had a few good deals and had fun just hanging out. I have also gotten a lot of work done in the evenings and yesterday afternoon. I got an email on Sunday from a gal I had met through my twins club, Debbie. She is in another multiples club here in Colorado for triplet moms called STORM, super twins of the rocky mountains. A fellow member of STORM that I had gotten to know through helping with our state convention a few years ago, Kim Nelson tragically lost her husband in an automobile accident recently. She has triplets that are 5 and a daughter that is 2. Debbie is hostessing a Silpada jewelry party this Friday and 100% of the proceeds are going towards Kim's family. This jewelry is great quality and they have very stylish and cute things. The Silpada consultant's name is Karen and if you would like to order something to benefit Kim and her children please visit Karen's site at www.mysilpada.com/karen.rice Then call or e-mail your order to Karen at (303)384-3552 or mysilvergirl@comcast.net. Silpada has a lifetime warranty on all of their jewelry and any item you aren't absolutely thrilled with can be returned or exchanged for 60 days. Make sure you tell Karen you are ordering jewelry to benefit Kim Nelson. Thanks guys!

Heath's 40th Bday

So I finally got the video from my friend Alyssa of our "performance" for her husband's 40th Bday. Alyssa made up words that went with the Friends Theme song, The Fireman by George Strait, and YMCA that were about Heath and then we did a little song and dance to them. I uploaded it to google and now have it for your viewing pleasure. Beware, it is like 7 and a half min, but hysterical! Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of the page and pause or stop the music before you start this.....



If it doesn't work on my blog go here and see it on the google video page http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7990623272145743059

Saturday Jan 13th

In a better mood then my last post, although my computer is still not functioning properly. Piece! Both today and Friday were busy days. Yesterday I went over to my girlfriend Michelle's to talk about frozen meals. She takes a day and prepares 14 meals and freezes them so when she wants to cook them the preparation time is only as long as it takes to cook. We are going to put them all together sometime this week and hopefully they will be a big hit with my family since it sounds so easy. I am the worst about planning ahead to make dinner. Friday morning I also found out that Old Navy is doing there huge 75% off sale through Sunday. They never advertise in advance for the sale so it is always the luck of the draw finding out. They have a ton of clothes for 2 to 5 dollars so I always stock up on stuff for the kids for there next size. I spend a good part of the afternoon at the Fort Collins store with my friend Alyssa and then went home and tried a bunch of the things on I bought for myself and ended up not liking a lot of it. Alyssa and I returned our stuff later in the afternoon to the Loveland store and purchased some more things there. A bit of a shopping addict when it comes to finding these sales. I live for this Old Navy sale and the Children's Place monster 3.99 sale. We stopped and bought Pizza Hut on the way home and came back to my house. Jon was working on drywall in the basement yesterday and I am just amazed how long it actually takes to hang drywall. He has spent so much time down there but it is coming along. I would say it is about 1/2 way done. I suppose it is a good time that the steps are taking awhile since we don't have the money to fork over to finish it all at once. I can't wait for it to be finished.
Today we went to the big RV show in Denver at the convention center. So I decided to wear a bra today for some odd reason...well I was wearing a white T shirt so I thought I better.......and I have to say wearing white shirts or anything that is even the least bit form fitting it O-U-T! The convention center is huge and there was only a bathroom on one side of the showroom and I have to say after walking around for a few hours my chest was hurting SO BAD! We did find the travel trailer that we would eventually love to purchase. It has 4 bunks in the back, perfect for the kids and has a slide out on the side so it is nice and roomy and the dinette area has a bench that goes all the way around it so there is more room to sit at the table too. It is a 2008 Keystone Splinter 299BHS. It is new this year and could sleep up to 10 so we could take some of our homies with us when we go camping. In our dream life this is the trailer we would love to own. After we got back in the car we stopped to get lunch at Chili's and I took one of my pain pills hoping to relieve all the discomfort I was having. After we got done eating I felt all whoosie and light headed. But it was helping with the pain. We got back in the car and I felt like I was on the verge of throwing up the entire way home. I rendered myself useless the rest of the evening. I am pretty sure it was way worse from wearing the bra today and don't think I would be this sore otherwise. I hope that things will be better tomorrow. Jon is leaving tomorrow to go to training in CA until next Friday and not really looking forward to that. We also found a great home for Bailey, our dog. My friend from work Stacey is taking him and she has a bunch of property so I think he will be much happier there then spending his time hanging out in a crate. Olivia is more then mad at us and I feel like a jerk but it will be better for him and us. It is going to be a long week without Jon here, hopefully I am not so sore tomorrow!

Rock Hard Bod Baby!

So after today the term rock hard body brings on a whole new meaning. Yikes! I thought I was rock hard to begin with and I can't even put into words how my chest feels. It is seriously crazy how hard my chest is. I haven't had the painful muscle twitches yet today so no muscle relaxer turning my day into a fog. I have taken my pain med twice today and am really sore in my chest, under my arms, and in my back. After I was expanded this morning and put my arms down I can actually feel my expanders and chest on the inside of my arms. I wonder if this is how larger breasted women feel all the time?? If so, new feeling for me. Although it is now just leaving me trying to not relax my arms at my side since it is so sore and sensitive. I haven't worn a bra now in over a month since there is no way these are moving anywhere and wearing a sports bra is just plain painful since it pulls the expanders together and hurts my sternum area. I found out last week that Dr. Brewster ended up putting the aloderm in on both sides to reinforce my skin on both sides. I found this pimple looking bump on the left side (non cancer side) and was unsure what it was. After asking Dr. Brewster about it she said it was a suture under my skin and had explained that it was sewn in on both sides. Dr. Brewster also told me the expander on the left side had rotated so it looks crooked. It won't be bad for anything long term but it does look funny that one side looks more tear dropped shaped since the expander is sitting a different direction. She said she could try to manipulate it to move it straight again but it is painful and will probably move again. Yeah, no thanks. I used my Emla cream today around the area where she put the injection last time and it worked fine. The actual injection was pain free but still felt the pressure and it was a little disturbing to still see this giant syringe attached to a huge needle out of the corner of my eye. Lots of pressure....Did I mention the pressure. Intense. Now sitting here this evening I still wouldn't say it is really painful just very sore and hurts to breathe really deeply. So no explanation for the unpleasant taste in my mouth. Dr. Brewster said that neither of the meds I am on have that as a common side effect but everyone is different. I swear I got a bad taste as soon as she started injecting the saline on my right side.....maybe it is seeping into my system?? Okay, not really worried about that. My mom said maybe just an adrenaline rush or something. Dr. Brewster just said it could just be your "little" body responding to everything that is going on. What I have found out is that it is for sure a disadvantage to have a "little" body while going through this experience. I have been super limited on things due to my "little" body. I would like to exchange this "little" body in for a new model!! Okay since there is really no chance of that happening, darn it! I am seriously un motivated to do anything today either. I don't feel like I can't move or get off the couch but notice that I feel super drained on top of the soreness. I am sure it is just "my body responding" but I have a hard time slowing down.
On another note, I couldn't be more upset with my computer. For some reason yesterday I was unable to open up my email program Outlook and still cannot access it. I can check my email online through hotmail but can't open up my program to get to my calender and contact information where I store every ones email addresses. Perfect! So I spend all this money on a new computer and am having problems with it left and right. It is so frustrating. It is sad to say that I rely on my computer so much that I don't even want to give it up for 24 hours for someone to take a look at it. Why can't things just work properly?? Is that so much to ask? Speaking of which our Directv receiver DVR has been not working right either for over a month. That one is just annoying as well because they want to charge us 100 bones for someone to come out and look at it, when technically the receiver isn't even ours. We lease it. Jon thought well we could just upgrade to the HD DVR receiver and be done with it.....to the tune of 200 bones. You can't win with these people. Why do I feel like everyone is ripping me off? Cable isn't working computer isn't working.......I hate technology today! Okay I am off to bed now and hopefully my night won't totally suck and I can get some sleep.

Buddy Check 9

Hey ladies! It is Buddy Check 9 day so every one take time today or tomorrow and do your monthly self breast exams. I have been staying busy this week with work and the kids. Sunday we went to a big meeting for church and they told us that they are organizing a new ward in our area and will be re drawing the ward boundaries. For those that aren't familiar a ward is the group of people that are assigned to attend church at the same time and have all their activities together. It is exciting that the church is growing in this area but hard to lose some neat people from our ward family. My parents did get to stay in the same ward as us so I am grateful for that. They help us out a lot.
I noticed after a few days of taking my medications I had this really unpleasant taste in my month all the time unless I was eating. It was bad enough to stop taking all my pain meds and muscle relaxers and go back to Tylenol and just suffer through the nights. I am doing pretty good during the day, it is just the nights that are still uncomfortable. When I am trying to lay on my side and it puts pressure on my breast area. My computer has decided to not open my email program today so I have been dealing with that headache all afternoon trying to figure it out...still don't know what is going on. What a pain! I am glad that school is back in session and Olivia is entertained and occupied through the morning hours again. Jon has stayed in the Denver-ish area all week so he has been home at night which is nice. I go in again tomorrow for another fill. Hopefully Dr. Brewster will be able to shed some light on the nasty taste issue with what med is causing that since I know I will need them both again come the afternoon. Hopefully things won't get worse then they were last week, just at a moderately uncomfortable but not quite at painful. I can definitely see they are oddly shaped and am already looking forward to surgery again to get the implants in. Dr Brewster says that during the fill process the expanders are both folded up to fit inside the area they had to work with and will slowly unfold until they are are undone and circular. They both now look like semi circles. Good thing we don't walk around like indigenous people with no shirts on...Ha! I told my family these better be the best looking "little" breasts ever when I am done for what I've gone through for them.......We shall see......

Technotronic - Move this

Time for some music that is a little more upbeat and fun. I also ran across this video today on you tube...WOW is all I can say. I think this is so funny but at the same time you can't help but want to get up and groove. I'm dying! Not so much up to "shake that body" but my kids were when they heard this song. I think it is their new favorite song! The 90s called and wanted me to send them their music back.....Good times!!

Alyssa and Heath are adopting....

Hi everyone! I wanted to quick put in a plug for my friend Alyssa. After having twins my girlfriend found out that she wasn't able to carry a baby again due to her heart condition. Heath and Alyssa have 2 daughters from his first marraige and are interested in adopting. They have gone through all the approval processes with LDS family services and now have their profile up on the LDS family services site. Please take time to look at their profile and remember them if you know of an expecting mother thinking of adoption. The LDS family services site is itsaboutlove.org and their profile name is heathandalyssa. Click here to go to their page and I will keep their link up on my links list.

Friday Jan 4th

Thank goodness the night is over. My meds all worked pretty well but I was still tossing and turning from being uncomfortable all night. The days when I am up and about are much better and can barely notice the uncomfort. It is the sleeping on the side and then going to your back, then back to the side with the body pillow hoping that by putting my arm on top of the pillow it isn't squeezing my chest from falling across my body. We have the long, blue body pillow that is the shape of a cylinder that somewhere along the line got the nick name Old Blue. Ha! I used to sleep with it all the time while I was pregnant and now has become something I can't sleep without after all my surgeries again. Thank goodness for Old Blue.


My sister was over with the kids the other day some of them played dress up. It was so funny.



I also found out that my digital camera records video as well. I tried it out while they were here the other day. Her is a quick 30 second clip of my sister Amy, my niece Brooke, and my son Cody. Brooke wasn't feeling well and I don't know what I was thinking turning the camera sideways...rookie! Make sure you go down to the bottom of the page and pause the other song at the bottom to hear audio.


We are now trying to find our dog a different home. I admit we didn't think it through well enough. He is a cute pooch but ends up being in his kennel a lot of the time because we don't have a fenced yard. In my mind it was to be Jon's thing but with him being gone working either long days or out of town it falls on me to take care of him. He honestly does really well with the kids and is house trained, it is just more then I can handle right now with everything else going on and not having the flexibility for him to be in a yard. He is still a puppy and I think he is about 16 to 18 weeks old. We are hoping to get a couple hundred for him so if you know anyone that is interested please let me know. He is a golden doodle (golden retriever, poodle mix) and we want to make sure we find him a good home. Here is a few recent photos.

Time to Expand

It's been a pretty uneventful week for us. The kids and I are all getting through colds, coughs, and sore throats. My sister Amy who is here has had a flu bug take over her whole family the last couple days which sucks.
For new years we had a few friends over to hang out and play games which was fun and I was able to go out to eat with my mom and sisters on Monday which was fun. We went to this Mexican place in the new Centerra shopping center called Costa Vida. It is similar to Qdoba and really good. They have really yummy sweet pork and I have heard it is by the same owners as Cafe Rio in Utah which is also really good.
Yesterday I had a bloody nose that lasted a good hour and a half and almost 2. I have been taking Aleve at night since it seems to be the only thing that helps. Bloody noses are pretty common for me especially during the dry winter but this was something else. Kinda scary. I did finally get it to stop but it consumed my whole afternoon.
Today I was back to Dr. Brewster and did my first expansion. I was super nervous to go and do it because I remembered how painful it was to take the fluid off the expander when I was in a ton of pain in the hospital. They take this instrument that looks like a stud finder with a magnet in it and the expander also has a magnet on the port for the expander. Then she sticks this needle in with a monster tube on the end that holds all the saline. Lucky for me it wasn't bad at all to have done. I am still pretty numb from surgery in that whole area. She filled an ounce or 30 cc's on both sides. My mom was nice enough to come with me to share in the fun. Dr. Brewster said no more asprin or Aleve if I am having bloody noses so back to the Flexaril (muscle relaxer) and she gave me darvocet. Right after the appointment I was thinking wow that really wasn't bad and I am not even sore......Yeah right, spoke way to soon. I had to go to a work meeting right after the appointment and right in the middle of the meeting my muscles starting spasming. Woah, this was nothing I experienced after my surgery. It felt like a muscle twitch that took over my whole chest. I came home and took a muscle relaxer and was lucky enough to nap on and off for the afternoon while the twins were napping and Olivia was watching a movie. That stuff knocks me out, but did help. It's a very weird feeling to have the spasms and painful. Hopefully that will not be going on constantly and only the first day or two after expanding. I am pretty sore this evening and will try the darvocet tonight and hopefully that will take the edge off. Sore, sore, sore. My dad came over this evening to help out with the kids while Jon is taking his hunter's safety class. He said it was boring tonight, but I think he is excited to be taking it and possibly going hunting sometime. I am really lucky to have my parents close to help out so much. (I am sure they love "helping" out so much) I love it though. They are the best parents ever and I know they would do anything I asked them too. The schedule is to try and expand one once each week so I will be back there again next Thursday. Ok, I am off to bed....catch ya on the flip side.

A New Look!

So I saw a friend's blog yesterday and loved her layout. It was so much more spread out and everything was larger so she was kind enough to help me change mine. Thanks Jer! Also back to one of my favorite songs, The Prayer. This version is okay but I prefer the one by Celine Dion and Josh Groban. Although I couldn't find one to embed on the blog and have it auto play. A classic in my book! I also stole this survivor counter from another blogger I just met! Thanks Sue! It is up at the top on the header. Hope everyone likes the new blog make over.
More of the same going on around here. Jon had my 2 brother-in-laws that are in town come over today and help him hang dry wall in the basement. After the day they did 1 and a 1/2 rooms. That dry wall is a big pain! But it looks great. I spent the day at my parent's house with the kids and hung out with my sisters. My sister Toni has this game she brought called Ticket to Ride and then my other sister Amy got Ticket to Ride, Europe for Christmas. If you like board games it has been really fun. We have played it almost everyday. They did say that it was kinda pricey like 40 bucks and only found it at a game store in the mall. But I am thinking of looking for it. Jon isn't much of a gamer but maybe I could convince him to play with me sometimes. It's good times.
This evening all the adults went out to eat and we all got babysitters. It was fun to just hang out with my brothers and sisters and parents without kids. We tried out a new babysitter that was recommended, who did fine, the kids loved her but I made the mistake of not asking her in advance how much she charged. So I got home relatively on time to what I told her, between 8 and 8:30, and my house was a disaster. The kids had their toys everywhere, the dishes weren't done, they weren't in their PJs, etc. So a little flustered walking in the door and then asked her what she charged...hold on to your butts....4 bucks an hour per child.....WHAT?!? I must be really cheap but it isn't like she is a licensed day care provider...$12 an hour?!? Holy cow..... For 12 bucks an hour my house better be spotless and the kids put to bed plus my bathrooms cleaned. Yikes. My kids did like her but who can afford to go out and pay a sitter that? Not me. Good thing we were only gone for dinner, less than 3 hours. Wow. Maybe I am way off base. What does everyone else pay sitters?
I also so some friends I knew from high school that I haven't seen since high school. They have 2 kids and are awfully cute. It was fun to be able to see them. I didn't even recognize her until she said something to me, and I'm the one with a different hair style. whoops.
So after picking up the house, doing dishes, and putting the kids to bed I am finally sitting down again. It took us an hour and a half to get back on track for the 3 hours we were gone. Oh well, live and learn I suppose. At least the kids enjoyed her.

Fri Dec 28th

It feels like forever since I last posted. It has been an eventful week. Both my out of town sisters came to my parents and will be here through the new year. We spent Christmas eve with Jon's folks and Christmas Day with mine. I made a photo book from Shutterfly.com for my parents, Jon's parents, and also Jon's aunt and uncle. I think it turned out really nice and it was definitely a fun one to give and everyone loved it. If you want to preview it here is the link:
http://share.shutterfly.com/action/project/0BYuGLZw1asXHg/landing
It's amazing how scrapbooking has changed. This is so much easier with digital photos and I am sorry to say that there is hundreds and hundreds of dollars of scrapbook stuff in my basement that might not ever get used. It is still a fun hobby though even though it is sitting and doing it at the computer.
Jon was gone for work starting early Wednesday morning and and is on his way home now. We had a huge snow storm yesterday so the kids and the dog and I went to my parents house yesterday morning and stayed the night there and just came home this afternoon. There were 15 people staying there between myself and my 2 sisters families, plus my little brother. Now that's a house full! It has been fun spending lots of time with my sisters and there kids this week. I know my kids have really liked seeing their cousins as well.
I am feeling a little better every day and still about the same at night. I started taking Aleve on Wednesday night and last night and that seems to be better at lasting more of the night and not keeping me completely uncomfortable. I still am getting tired very easily and have to be careful about not being up and about for the whole day or I am exhausted. I have another week until my first scheduled fill of the expanders. (next Thursday)
We have also had the kids pass all around this croup cough sickness. Cody lost his voice completely on Wednesday and all the kids still have a deep cough on and off. Hopefully it doesn't make it's way around to Jon and I. I uploaded a bunch of Christmas pictures to my picasa site and have to get the snow day pictures from my sister.

Friday Dec 21

Rough is the only term I can use to describe the rest of my week. I have been very uncomfortable at night and spend most of the night tossing and turning from side to side to back to try and stay in a position that doesn't cause me more pain. It has been slow going for recovery and I have still had to deal with nausea.
At my doctor's appointment with Dr. Brewster yesterday she removed the rest of my sutures and said I could finally stop taking my antibiotic which I think has been the cause of most of my nausea and just generally feeling horrible. We decided that since I am still uncomfortable and the skin is still tight on that right side that we won't start expanding. I have 2 weeks until we plan to start expanding, which was good news since I am still uncomfortable. Hopefully this will give me a good amount of time to rebound and at least feel a little more at ease. I still get tired very easily and am beginning to feel like I am back on chemo! Let's hope it gets better in the next few days.
My sister Amy and her family flew into Denver yesterday and it has been fun spending the last 24 hours with them. My other sister Toni and her husband Doug and their new baby were supposed to drive here today but the weather has been bad so they are going to driver here tomorrow. Jon got home this evening and I am relieved that he is here to help me with the kids and I can hopefully relax a little. Chasing the kids really takes it out of you, especially when you don't have anything in you to begin with!

Tuesday Dec 18th

Well it is still slow going here tying to keep on top of feeling better. Seems some days are fine and others are terrible. Saturday I was sick to my stomach for most of the day so pretty much stayed on the couch the whole day. Alex decided to get sick on Friday with a really deep cough. it sounded like croup so she was and still is sick. She seems to feel fine otherwise, she hasn't slowed down at all. The dog also went back into his old habits and got sick again on us on Thursday. When we had him into the vet on Saturday they couldn't find anything wrong with him and just put him on this prescription food that is really bland. He seems to be back to normal now, but hates the food. Hope we don't have continual problems with him! Saturday Jon picked up the new Harry Potter DVD that came out last week so I watched that when I was on the couch both Saturday and Sunday. Alex stayed home from church with me on Sunday and when she woke up from her nap her arms and back were all red and she had these big white and raised areas that looked like welts. Jon took her to urgent care and they put her on an antibiotic and just said to give her benedryl for the rash. It went away within an hour of giving her the benedryl. Strange. Yesterday was a pretty good day. I felt great all day. I cleaned out my bathroom cupboards in the morning and then had to mail something yesterday and stood in line for at least 45 minutes at the post office. It was crazy. Last night Jon's aunt and uncle Clara and John came down to celebrate Christmas with us and Jon's parents came over as well. We exchanged gifts and then went to Red Robin for dinner.

Afterwards we went to Target where the kids all got to pick out a gift from John and Clara and then went back to their hotel and the kids got to go swimming in their pool at the hotel. The kids love to swim so of course had a blast swimming and spending time with family. Alex's mystery rash came back after about 30 minutes of swimming and so we had to call it quits and head home for some more benedryl. It's weird because it doesn't seem to phase her at all. It doesn't itch or anything. Hopefully she gets better soon. Today has been rough again. I woke up with an upset stomach and have been in the bathroom a bunch today. It's a vicious cycle. I stop taking my antibiotic on Saturday and hopefully it will be back to normal after that. By the way, mom did fine when I had my drains pulled out last week. I told her that I had been worried about me and she laughed. She just said she gets like that when she isn't sure what to expect. So no dizzy spells during the appointment, which was great since it sucked for me. I go in for my first fill on Thursday. Hope all goes well and it isn't too painful. I uploaded my recent photos of our puppy, Olivia's winter concert, and our evening last night onto my picasa site.

Friday Dec 14th

It has been a LONG week. Man it is frustrating to be feeling awful and trying to recover. You are never comfortable always in pain or having to deal with nausea. Sleeping is the worst. Of course it is only comfortable to sleep on my back and I normally sleep on my side and then I wake up in pain since I sleep through my 4 hour pain pill cycle. I guess I could go on and on complaining about how much this sucks so I will stop at that. The one up side is looking down and seeing the making of new breasts. Jon managed to get the Christmas tree set up and all our Christmas stuff out this week. We are only getting out the necessities this year. Keep it simple. So the eyrithromyicin does also make me sick so I get to deal with that two times a day with an anti nausea med that sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. I am also taking vicodin for pain and flexaril which is a muscle relaxer. The muscle relaxer of course knocks you out.

We have had a few snow storms this week. Olivia went to school on Tuesday and came home when I had medicated myself into a coma yelling at me that since she didn't wear her snow boots to school she had to stay inside with 1/2 the class from recess. Apparently the protocol is wear snow boots to school and bring tennis shoes in your bag for the class room. Excuse me for not knowing the protocol for kindergarten. Besides Jon sent her off to school that day. Oh the woes of a 5 year old. Jon was back in Colorado Springs working Wednesday through today. He drove back on Wednesday night so we could go to Olivia's winter concert. It was so cute. I wish I had this video thing figured out to upload these videos to my blog. Maybe after my sister is here at Christmas she can show me. (hint hint Toni) With lots of help from my parents I made it through the rest of this week. My mom came with me to my Dr. appointment on Thursday to get the other drain pulled out. Again, this is fun! A few clips of the scissors to remove the sutures and a few yanks. I am so glad they are out but man does that hurt. I have been dreading the experience since I had the surgery scheduled months ago. Dr. Brewster said she was pleased with the healing my body has been doing and would plan on doing my first expander fill at my next appointment next Thursday. Hopefully it won't take to long to get over the expansion each time. I'm sure it will be uncomfortable for at least a few days. She said her goal was to fill an ounce each time, which is 30 cc's. She removed 35 cc's right after surgery on the right side so I guess next week we will just catch up the right side. This should be interesting.
The healing process is slow but moving along. I feel a little better each day then I did the day before. Yesterday I was up and around a bunch because I was feeling better and today I paid for it. I sat on the couch feeling pretty junkie for most of the day. I was sick from my antibiotic both in the morning and this evening. But today was AMAZING in that I finally got clearance to shower after 10 days. WOW that was nice. I stood in the shower for probably 20 min thinking about how awesome it was to shower. Don't get too grossed out I did wash my hair a few times in the sink and have a nice washcloth bath a few times but there is nothing like enjoying a hot shower. It's funny looking back I had planned on getting all my Christmas cards done and working a bunch since I would be forced to sit on the couch. I suppose I didn't plan on being doped up on pain meds and muscle relaxers and feeling like death. Needless to say my short "to do" list never got done and I spent the entire week being worthless and recovering. I know I needed it though and I am glad that I didn't push myself to get a bunch done. Thanks to everyone who helped us out this week by running kids or watching kids and bringing us meals. It was a tremendous help and I really appreciate every one's kindness. No big plans this weekend, hopefully more of nothing and just relaxing.

Monday Dec 10th

First and foremost, I missed buddy check 9 day yesterday. I wasn't up to posting after hanging over the toilet for the entire day. So give your girls a squeeze and a good once over for the month!

Surgery on Wednesday went well. It was a little over 6 hours and lucky for me it felt like 2 seconds. The only thing I remember in recovery was thinking how much it hurt. Hurt to move, hurt to talk, hurt to breathe. Of course the whole rest of the day was pretty foggy from medications. I felt like there was an elephant sitting on my chest. I had the expanders in both sides and also drains in both sides and an incision where they removed my port. I look like a battlefield. Although it was kinda nice to look down and see "bumps" in my bra. I couldn't even move without help from someone. It is pretty hard to remember much because I felt like I was either wanting to be asleep or asleep most of the stay in the hospital. Just those painful thoughts of having to get up to go to the bathroom and sitting up to breathe into the inspirometer, which measures your lung capacity and to cough. I swear it was a torturing hospital. Okay not really but I definitely wasn't prepared for the amount of pain that came along with it. That hurt also to breathe so deeply. The first day I barley made it up to 500 meanwhile Jon tried it for fun and can make it all the way to the top at 5000. Ha! I had and still have to think about breathing deeply because it hurts to do that so instinctively I breathe shallow so it doesn't hurt. But apparently can cause pneumonia. I prepared myself for the amount of pain I had at my first surgery and this was 100 times more painful. I couldn't put weight on either arm so had to get up by my nurse or whomever was there with hugging me around my shoulders and pulling me up. My right side (cancer side that was radiated and used Alloderm on) hurt significantly worse than my left side. I seriously couldn't even move my right arm without sharp shooting pains in my right arm pit. Also during surgery my lip was caught between the intubation tube and my teeth the entire time and I woke up with a huge fat lip on the right side. I felt nauseous the entire time which was another bonus. When Dr. Brewster came back to check on me that night and I told her how much pain I was in she decided to drain some of the saline in my expander so there wasn't as much pressure on that side. My mom was there and she uses this instrument that looks like a stud finder to find where the right part of the expander is and then uses a syringe with a needle on it to suck the saline out. She said that with some patients they don't feel it because most of that area is numb from surgeries. Yeah, not me.... Apparently that is what I get to look forward to in getting them filled up the next few months. Needless to say, not a fun experience and then my poor mom had to go sit down afterwards because she thought she was going to be sick from watching. I guess she won't be able to come to my appointments with me to get them filled. I felt a little better after she took some saline out but it still hurt. She came again in the morning to drain some more off of it. So I got to experience that twice in 24 hours. I ended up staying 2 nights because I was still so uncomfortable after the first night. Of course the administration lady came up to my room and said that my insurance doesn't pre approve extra nights in the hospital and will determine if they will cover it only after they have the claim. Super. I can't tell you how happy I have been with my insurance company lately. On a funny note, I was saying how I was so sleepy. I fell asleep on Thursday in the middle of doing my inspirometer breathing with the thing in my mouth, also fell asleep in the middle of eating crackers once with a cracker in my hand, and also a few times with a glass of water in my hands. That would have made a pretty funny picture. I came home on Friday afternoon. My mom came to pick me up and when I got out to the car (she drives a suburban) I instantly thought, how the heck am I going to get into this car? Since I couldn't even stand up by myself, it was interesting. Of course I was in tears after I finally got in the car and had to pull myself in with my arms and the nurse had to lift me in by my arms. Then the car ride home sucked too. I could literally feel the expanders sliding across my chest muscle when we turned a corner. Every time we hit a bump in the road it felt like someone ripping open my skin. My mom tried to slow WAY down to go over the railroad tracks and of course it was still awful. I think I was in tears the whole way home and so was my mom, she felt so bad for me. Much of the weekend was spent on the couch and over the toilet. The pain has gotten a little better everyday but is definitely still there. I went in for a follow up appointment this morning and Dr. Brewster decided to pull out the drain on my left side. These are always fun and memorable experiences. For those who aren't familiar with drains it is a suction drain that collects extra fluids from a wound after surgery and then it empties into a bulb. Click here if you are really interested in what the Jackson Pratt drain looks like. As you can imagine it isn't much fun. There are a few sutures that hold it in place that she cuts and then one large yank and it comes out of your skin. Unfortunately for me, mine got stuck 1/2 way through and had to have 2 big yanks. Double ouch! Dr. Brewster also thought the culprit for my nausea was my antibiotic so she gave me a different one to try. I spent the rest of the day on the couch resting from the 2 hours I was out and about this morning. Jon picked up my new prescription for arythromyacin and I took one with dinner. Now about an hour after dinner the nausea in starting in again. Good times. I was teasing my mom whiles she was here dropping off dinner that it was a good thing she wasn't there to get my drain pulled out today because she would have fainted. Of course then I remembered that Jon would be at work on Thursday for my next appointment and then realized that she would be going with me to get the other one yanked out. I hope she does okay, I am more worried about her! After about an hour I am starting to feel queasy from the other med. Hopefully I don't spend the rest of the night over the toilet. Thanks for every one's prayers, thoughts, and phone calls. Sorry if I talked to you on Thursday or Friday and I was way out of it!

Surgery is a Go!!

No thanks to blue cross of CA, I will be able to go forward with my surgery as planned. My surgeon is beyond frustrated with my insurance company for their unwillingness to cooperate and provide me with the product that is necessary for me to be able to complete this surgery. They basically told her that their standard of care doesn't ever include providing this to their patients. The surgeon from my insurance company that she did her peer review with even admitted that their standard of care is below par and not up to date. When she was explaining that surgery and especially plastic surgery is always cutting edge he admitted that they were not up to date on their standard. This is so frustrating to know that they are denying people the right to have the use of alloderm when it is medically necessary. That should be for your surgeon to decide not some insurance company. Unreal. Dr. Brewster told me if I wanted to pursue litigation or write letter she would be happy to sign whatever I need her to. I am for sure going to be looking into do this possibly during my down time. At least I would be helping the next person in line get this. So due to the generosity of the company alloderm for donating the product, my surgeon for donating her time to sew it in, and the surgery center for donating a time block I will be able to proceed with that part of the surgery to use the alloderm which is necessary to help strengthen the radiation area. So tomorrow I will go in and have my surgery to do the mastectomy on the left side, get my port removed, have the alloderm sewn in on the radiated side and then the tissue expanders placed on both sides. This time I am having it at the Harmony surgery center rather than Poudre Valley Hospital. I am not sure if I will be there 1 night or 2 nights. I didn't do well coming off of anesthesia last time so I had to stay 2 nights. I guess we will see. I am really nervous and really just want to get it over with.
On another note my weekend went well and was busy as always. Jon ended up working both Saturday and Sunday so we would be okay to take off a week for me to recover. On Saturday night we went to my girlfriend Alyssa's surprise party for her husband who is 40. It was a blast. She did this amazing video slide show for him of pictures of his life put to music, it was really neat. She also made up these hilarious lyrics to the friends theme song, The Fireman by George Strait, and YMCA that fit with his life and that evening. It was Alyssa, myself, Aislinn, and Michelle that performed the skit/song and it was hysterical. We had someone video tape it so I will put it on my blog when I get it. The puppy is doing much better. We had him at the vet on Monday and he had a parasite. After a day of antibiotics he has done a complete 180 and I am feeling much less overwhelmed with him and actually starting to like him, a little. (ha!) Now I am trying to get my house in order and all the last minute things done. I will blog again this weekend and let everyone know how I am doing. Thanks for every one's support and make sure you keep me in your prayers...I am really nervous about it. :-(