Monday, June 23, 2008

Will I ever feel really real?

So today this thought has crossed my mind about 10 times...will I ever feel really real again? Speaking of my chest of course. I am still surprised to feel itchy under my skin where I am numb under my arms and towards my back. Still surprised every time I get undressed to shower and feel my chest and feel cold implants when I am hot. (not to mention freezing implants when I am cold) I wonder if I will ever regain that feeling or not be surprised to feel just the pressure when I am touching my chest rather than the actual touch....probably not. That sucks.

4 comments:

Sue Flaska said...

I know it's hard. It is so frustrating to me to have an itch on a numb area of my body. No relief, even when scratched. I did get to a point though, through time, when I got used to my new self. That doesn't mean I am tickled pink to look like a pieced together person, but I am getting used to seeing my reflection in the mirror. Some days though, it's still hard to believe that my body has been through what it has. But we move on.

Grandma said...

Eliza, I can't begin to understand what you are going thru. I am sorry that you feel that way. You are such an amazing, strong woman. Hang in there! Love Yah! Ais

New York Sims said...

It's NOT FAIR that you have to deal with this!!! Argh. I think all of us (your friends) just want to beat the snot out of cancer, because it's hurting someone we love dearly.

I do have to say, your boobies look great! (At least through your shirt...ha ha.)

You're amazing!! Love you!

Eliza Brock said...

You guys are awesome. Thanks for always being there!