Saturday May 19th

It has been a long, but successful, day. We held the garage sale for Relay for Life today at my parents house. I am happy to say that we raised $1000. I can't believe it! Thanks so much to everyone that donated items or their time to make this a success! The rest of this week has been pretty challenging.
On Wednesday afternoon I walked down to the mail box with Olivia. Our mail box is only 1/2 a block away so I didn't think to much of it. It was about 75 degrees out so not too warm. On the way back I had to stop and sit down at least 4 times because I was getting so dizzy. After I made it back to the house I had a headache for the rest of the day and tried to take it easy and drink a bunch of water. I had a radiation appointment in the evening since I was the parent helper in Olivia's class on Wednesday morning. I had them look at my skin because it is starting to break down and peel off on the couple areas where I have scars from my surgery. The nurse gave me some aquaphore with zylocain in it to keep on my scars. When I told her about my symptoms with being dizzy she took my blood pressure and it was pretty low so they told me to go home and go to bed and make sure I keep up on drinking my water.
Thursday morning I had to go right back in for radiation treatment in the morning. The nurse took my blood pressure again and it was still very low. I had to go in for Herceptin that afternoon and she told me that I really needed to stay for hydration. I still was feeling dizzy every time I stood up after sitting down for any amount of time and still had the headache. She also told me that I needed to take it really easy and try to rest as much as possible. Jon's parents were nice enough to stay for most of the day while I was at my various doctors appointments. I went in for hydration and Herception. My blood pressure still had not improved very much. It did get a little better after I received the hydration but they still wanted me to come back the next day for more. They just said that the radiation can effect everyone differently but it wasn't uncommon to get dehydrated with treatments. I think I do pretty well on keeping up with water but some times it just isn't as beneficial as IV fluids can be. My parents came over on Thursday night and helped me out until the kids went to bed.
Friday I did radiation again in the morning and had to stay and see the doctor about my skin. It is defiantly RED now. The scars are all peeling away so they are a little concerned with that. The doctor wants to see me again on Tuesday before treatment, since I am scheduled to have another "bolus" treatment that day. This is the one with the wet towels on my skin that brings the radiation dose closer to the surface of my skin and it the one that most effects that damage on my scar tissue. They gave me these soaks to do that I keep gauze on my skin for about 20 min. and I am supposed to keep that aquaphore on my scar to keep it moisturized. Back in for hydration at 1 on Friday. I felt a little better as far as the dizzy spells went on Friday but was still VERY tired. After I did 1 liter of hydration my blood pressure was still at 84/63 which is low even for me that runs low. Unfortunately they took the tap out of my port before they took my blood pressure and then wanted me to stay for another liter. I said that I would try to take it easy and drink lots of Gatorade this weekend and then go in to the hospital for more fluids if I felt bad. I just hate for them to have to re-tap it again right away. Not very much fun. Jon's parents took the twins for me last night and so I was just left with Olivia. We stayed the night at my parents house so we could sort through the garage sale stuff and be there bright and early to get things going. There was SO much stuff to go through, much more than I thought we had. Between about 6 or 7 of us working from 5pm to about 9pm we still hadn't gone through all the stuff. But by 9pm I had to go to bed. I was spent and pretty useless at that point.
We were up bright and early at about 6:15 getting everything set out in the driveway and set up. I spent most of the day sitting at the cashier table taking money. Like I said before though it was a HUGE success and I think we all were a little surprised at how much money we raised. I was so tired the rest of the day though. I left my moms with Olivia at about 2pm and the twins came home and napped for a few hours. My mom came over this evening to help me with dinner and the kids again. I know I wasn't sitting in bed the last 2 days but I did think that I took it pretty easy. I just can't believe how tired I actually am. It is funny to feel exhausted all the time. Even when you wake up in the morning and you should be raring to go....still tired. Hmmm. Hopefully this doesn't stay this bad for the rest of my radiation treatment. Well, I can't say thank you enough times, so THANKS AGAIN, to everyone that helped with the sale. I have an awesome family and group of friends!

Wednesday May 16th

Wow, finally over my busy days with work. I am always working a bunch around the 15th and the 30th. My sister and her husband were here this weekend and it was fun being able to see them. They came on Friday and my sister's roommate from college was here with her husband and kids. We took the kids to Bounce on Friday and then tried to go ride the 4 wheelers on Saturday. We drove all the way over the the Pawnee National Grasslands and their OHV road was closed. Man that makes me mad! Especially when you drive so far away and then they don't even post the closure on their website. So we ended up coming back and playing and picnicing at Fossil Creek Park. Jon and I went out to eat and did some Mother's Day shopping on Saturday night but we had to come home early around 8:30 or so because I was so tired. The fatigue is definitely starting to set in. We had a fun mother's day doing brunch in the morning with my parents, sisters & and their families, Jon's parents, and my grandma Mondy. We went to church in the afternoon and then just hung out at home until Jon left for work again on Sunday evening. He will be out of town until next Wednesday. This is out of town stuff is getting old. Especially now that I am so tired all the time. Olivia also learned out to ride a "2 wheeler", as she calls it, on Sunday. Jon took the training wheels off her bike and 30 minutes later away she went. I couldn't believe she picked it up so quickly.

We have been outside everyday practicing since Sunday. She tells everyone now, "I can ride a 2 wheeler". People are just like, what is this kid talking about? It is pretty amusing. Alex also learned how to peddle her tricycle. Pretty exciting weekend at our house.

Radiation is going okay. Yesterday at my appointment the nurse was getting me lined up with the machine and said, "Who did your surgery?" I told her my surgeons name and she said, hmm. I was thinking, oh no does that mean it looks goofy or something. I haven't seen a bunch of mastectomy scars but was thinking that is what she meant until she finally said that the surgeon did an awesome job and it was one of better ones she has seen. She said my skin was holding up great. Then I also saw the doctor yesterday and she made the same comment. Asking who my surgeon was and saying he did an excellent job. She said some scars get bunchie in places or there are fluid pockets around the surgical site. Mine is very smooth. That was good to hear especially twice in the same day. My skin is definitely on the red side now. After I got out of the shower last night I noticed that the scars under my arms and the one across my chest are now peeling and have some raw spots on them. Of course it starts breaking down the day after everyone tells me how awesome I am doing. Today was the first day that my shirt has really bothered me from all the rubbing. It has been tender in spots for a few days, but today it actually hurt to have my shirt on. I switched to a really loose tank this afternoon and seem to be doing somewhat better. Before ya know it I will have to walk around without a shirt on to be comfy. Ya right...... I have tried to keep aquaphore on my scars for most of the day so I hope that helps. I went to parent help in Olivia's classroom this morning and they took a trip to her teachers house. She lives on 35 acres up by Carter Lake. It was beautiful there. Tranquil. It would be nice to live in the country or mountains on some property. The kids went for a little hike and loved seeing their teacher's house. It was a fun day to help out. I don't have my radiation appointment until 5:45 this evening so hopefully they will have some miracle pointers for me to help out my skin a bit more. I guess we will see. I have also been having problems with low blood pressure. I think it is slowing beginning to disappear. They are always asking me if I am drinking a lot of water or getting dizzy. I have been trying to drink a bunch of water, but heck you can only drink so much. I haven't really had the dizzy problem until today. After I put the twins down for a nap Olivia and I walked to the mail box. On the way back I had to keep stopping and sit down. I didn't know if I was going to make it home or not, kinda scary. I guess I will be sitting down the rest of the afternoon with a glass of water permanently glued to my mouth. Sheesh!
So I am still trying to collect donations for the garage sale/ bake sale this weekend. If anyone has anything they would be willing to donate please let me know. The sale will be on Saturday at my parent's house. 7851 Whitney Ct. Fort Collins 80525, so stop by and support the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life teams, We Cancer-vive!

Wed May 9th

All the ladies in the house.......BUDDY CHECK 9 DAY!! Be sure to do your monthly self breast exams. Early detection is key! I finally remembered on the right day this month, can you believe it. I don't think I have done that for a few months.
There isn't too much exciting to report for the last few days. The weather has been beautiful which I love. I love driving the big Jeep when it is nice out, so I got that out of the garage today and drove it around. Also because it has a full tank of gas and I am freaking out about gas prices being 3.20 here. The kids and I also washed it this afternoon and they ran around in their swim suits or as the twins say swim soups. I am looking forward to having some nice 80 plus degree days here this weekend. The kids love riding in "Daddy's Jeep" so we also took it to the grocery store this morning to buy to buy some juice. I forgot to get more at the grocery store this week and we were completely out. Speaking of the grocery store I have been totally scoring on previously viewed movies at King Soopers lately. They have all their previously viewed DVDs buy one get one free most of the time and they are 7.99. Sometimes I only find one but they still give them to you for 4 bucks, which is only a little cheaper than renting so why not. I've gotten the DaVinci Code, You, Me & Dupree, and The Guardian in the last few weeks. I am a movie-holic. For anyone that knows me or my family, we love to quote movies. Good times!!!
My skin has gotten gradually worse this last week graduating from pink to a light red and has been itchy. So I try to keep cream or lotion on it a few times a day. It is funny to look at myself and see one white side and one red side. Looks like I wore a long sleeve shirt on the left half of my body and went naked on the other half :-) That would be a funny site!
Oh, I also got this box of pre-made scrapbook pages and scrapbooks from Robyn and some gals that she does stamping up with. I LOVE THEM!!! All I have to do is put my pictures in them. They are all so cute, Thanks a bunch ladies!!
I am still looking for garage sale items that people are willing to donate for my Relay for Life garage sale next weekend. Please contact me if you have anything I can come pick up or you are willing to drop by.

Monday May 7th

Well technically it is Tuesday but we will say Monday for kicks. I have such a hard time sleeping when Jon isn't here. Good thing I have work to keep me busy if I want. The weather this weekend stayed overcast and chilly and was perfect for staying inside and hanging out. I went in for a massage on Saturday morning which was nice and relaxing. Jon spent all day Saturday finishing the insulation work in the basement. It is funny to walk down there now and actually see rooms and not be able to hear your voice echo. I can finally see more of a finished product. Saturday night we were able to go out and spend some time with our friends Tim and Traci. They are awesome people and I wish we could see them more often. Traci actually called this morning and said they would be going camping with us over Memorial Day! Should be fun if anyone is interested in going let me know. We are going to go a little north of Walden so we have somewhere fun to ride the four wheelers. Sunday was pretty laid back as well. I wasn't feeling well so we just hung out at the house. I also found out that my grandpa's wife, Jeanie, passed away on Sunday morning. She had stopped eating almost 2 weeks ago, so it was just a matter of time. My mom is out there in Salt Lake until Saturday. She was a sweet lady and we will miss her. My sister Toni and her husband will be coming this weekend for Mother's Day because her old college roomie is coming to town to visit. Should be fun to see her husband for a few days. Jon went back to work this morning after I got home from radiation. I did treatment #13 today so 19 to go. My allergies are still horrible and I am wondering at this point why I pay so much for my medication that really doesn't seem to be helping much. I am going to try a new one tomorrow. I did my grocery game shopping again this morning. It is still going well, cutting coupons and saving a bunch of money! I would recommend it to everyone! If you sign up remember to use my email address and I can get some free weeks as well. The site is www.thegrocerygame.com I see the Dr. tomorrow so we will see if anything changes with my treatment "plan".

Friday May 4th

Okay I love it that it is May already and the warm weather should be fast approaching. I can't wait to get out and enjoy the sunny weather again soon. Although today was a drag, weather wise. Pretty chilly and overcast, but no rain yet. Jon is home this afternoon and we had our pre drywall inspection done this afternoon for the basement. Only a few minor things to fix. Jon is down there now putting up insulation. It is nice to be moving forward again with it. We don't have any big plans this weekend, which is nice. Our last few weekends have been jam packed with plans and schedules so it is nice to just be going with the flow.
My week was pretty busy. Olivia had swim lessons on Tues and Thurs night, which she is loving. I feel so crazy having to get up and be somewhere every morning. It is defiantly a switch from having no set schedule in the mornings. I would probably be disastrous in getting kids ready and out the door every morning if I worked and had to have them at day care. I suppose it wouldn't be any different than having them at school at a certain time every morning, which isn't too far off.
I have had to completely stop wearing my bra because it is irritating my skin to have the tightness on it all the time. It is even uncomfortable to wear a camisole with a lined bra. At this point I am just wearing a cotton tank and t shirt over it. This seems to work the best. I am still just pink on the side being treated, not red. I have one rib that seems to be pretty sore most of the time, which sucks. They are thinking it is just from having surgery in the area and now radiation. The doc just said to take Ibuprofen or Advil and we will see how it is next week. Although I remember telling my mom that same rib was sore for awhile before surgery and they couldn't find anything wrong with it, so who knows what the deal is. It went away for awhile but is back now. Just feels bruised. So far I am just using the Aveeno lotion on the treated area and it seems to be doing OK. If it starts getting bad I will try something new. Today I did treatment number 12 and I have 32 so 20 to go. The treatments themselves are not too bad. The only time it sucks is when they have to do films and "tweak" things in my plan. Then I am stuck with my hands up above my head for at least 15 min. Needless to say, my arms are totally asleep by the time I put them down. And laying on the hard table with my bony back and shoulders gets to wear it is very uncomfortable after a few minutes. They put this wet towel over my chest every other day they call a bolus. This is supposed to "fool" the machine into thinking there is an extra layer of skin there and not penetrate the body as deep. Like I have said before it is all a very technical and precise process and I am always amazed at learning all of the details that go into each individuals "plan". I have had a few people ask me if my hair is growing back yet, and I am happy to report that it is finally growing. The downside is that I have a million cowlicks on my head, so hair is out of control and growing in a million directions. I will post a picture when I have one.
On another note I found out this week that my grandma Jeanie is not doing very well. This is my mom's step-mother. She married my grandpa after my grandmother passed away probably about 15 or so years ago. They are currently living in Salt Lake and don't think that she will be here much longer. I am not sure that there is anything specifically wrong with her, just that her health has been going down hill for awhile and now she has been sleeping most of the time and only eating ice chips for the past week and a half or so. I think my mom said that hospice comes over in every morning to check on her. She is a very sweet person and I am glad that we have been able to have her in our family for as long as we have.
The only other thing I did this week was meet my girlfriend Heather and her 2 girls for dinner with the kids at Red Robin last night. It was the 2 of us and 5 kids. My nightmare table when I used to wait tables. :-) Oh well!
Relay stuff is still going well, but I have gotten 0 fund raising ideas. The only idea I have come up with is a "stolen" idea from my twins club. We had a rummage sale or garage sales a few weeks ago where club members donated items that they were otherwise going to get rid of and all the profits went to the club. So I thought we would try and do this over at my parents house since they have a landing strip for a driveway. The weekend I am looking at is May 19th. Between graduation and holidays there just aren't very many open weekends to do it before Relay. So I am thinking that we will have people bring by items that they would be willing to donate to the sale on the 18th or that week before and then do the sale on the 19th. All the profits would be donated to Relay and then anyone that wants to make a cash donation on top of that can do that. I have the "cash receipts" from ACS to hand out so people can write it off on their taxes if they want to just make a cash donation. Leave me a comment if this sounds like something you would be able to donate items too. (if you are in my area, of course) I think I will also put an add in the paper and on the community message board. Please pass the word around to your friends and family members and see if we can get some garage sale items to use and raise money. I will start collecting stuff from people now if they want it off their hands. Also if anyone comes up with other ideas, please let me know.

Sunday April 29th

We have had a fun weekend hanging out with Daddy. Jon has been working on his garage all weekend and it looks pretty nice. He painted the floor and put cabinets up. He also got some help from Vernon yesterday and our basement is finally ready for the first inspection before we start to drywall. Since he has been working on the garage the kids have been able to be outside with him and play around. It has been beautiful here this weekend. 70's and 84 was the high today. I am loving it! Yesterday I went to an eye appointment and got my new contact perscription and then the kids and I went to the park with my friend Jenn and her boys Caleb and Nicholas for lunch and to play. Last night my friend Courtnee's parents offered to watch ALL our kids while the 4 of us went out to eat. We went to Olive Garden and then over to a going away party for my friend Janna. Her and her husband are moving to Reno. Bye Janna! The kids had a great time playing with Taylor and Drew and staying with Cheryl and Jay, Thanks! Olivia told me the other day, "Mom, I can't wait to see Drew so he can show me again how he can burp the ABC's" Oh the things that make a 4 year old's heart go pitter patter. They are so funny! We had a great time and I can't remember the last time I have laughed so much. My sides hurt all night.
This morning I woke up with a terrible sore throat. I still think it is my allergies, but it is getting really old. It always seems to feel better towards the afternoon. I stayed home from church and had intentions of relaxing, but ended up doing laundry and getting my room organized. I have had books all over my floor that people have let me borrow about cancer, and whatnot since I was diagnosed and finally have everything picked up and put away or ready to give back to the lenders. It's nice to have a "clean" room again. I also sat down and got all my coupons clipped for the grocery game shopping tomorrow. Sad to say that those few things have taken up my whole day. But, at least all those things are checked off the list. We are having the missionaries over for dinner tonight, which I forgot about until they called to remind me late this afternoon. Whoops! Speaking of which if anyone is interested there is a PBS special on tomorrow night and Tuesday night about "The Mormoms". It is a documentary put together by PBS, Front line, and the American Experience and should be interesting if anyone is interested in checking it out. From what I have heard it is about the church's history, beliefs, and views. Here is a quote from the PBS website, "Mormons have always had a peculiar hold on the American imagination, but few know who the Mormons actually are, or who they claim to be, and their story is one of the great neglected American narratives." If you want to read more about it click on this link http://www.pbs.org/mormons/
I got this email this weekend from my friend Pam and I thought I would share it because it was cute:
An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the
>> ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a
>> crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full
>> portion of water, at the end of the long walk from the stream to the
>> house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
>>
>> For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing
>> home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was
>> proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its
>> own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had
>> been made to do.
>>
>> After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke
>> to the woman one day by the stream. 'I am ashamed of myself, because this
>> crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your
>> house.'
>>
>> The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on
>> your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?' 'That's because
>> I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your
>> side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For
>> two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate
>> the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be
>> this beauty to grace the house.'
>>
>> Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws
>> we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and
>> rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look
>> for the good in them.
>>
>> SO, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to
>> smell the flowers on your side of the path!

Friday April 28th

I just wanted to mention this quote that they had told us at the relay meeting last night about being optimistic. Jonas Salk, the gentleman that found the cure for polio, said "I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams. " Hope everyone has a great day today!

Thursday April 27th

Another day in the life of a cancer patient.... It's been awhile since I have felt like a "cancer patient" since I haven't been in to the doctor much and have had a nice break before surgery and after surgery. Today it is starting to sink in again. Today was day #6 of radiation treatment and then I went over to my oncologists office for a doctor's appointment and for Hercetin. My blood pressure continues to be low, like most always but my nurse suggested that I hang out and do some hydration to help boost it a little. She asked if I was dizzy very often, which I do get dizzy almost every time I stand up from sitting down. I had no idea the 2 were related. I hung out for chemo for probably a hour and half. The longest that I have been there in months. I also tried to use my "old" tube of Emla cream to see if it would work any better and it was much better. I think my new stuff is a bad batch. Good to know that I wasn't just getting to be more of a baby as time went on. I am not sure why more oncology offices don't tell their patients about this cream. There really is no need to suffer through all the pokes when you can just use the cream and be numb over your port and have it be painless. I just told one of my BC friends, Shari, about it and she said she used it last time and it was great. Good thing I had a woman on the inside tell me about the cream before I started treatment! (Thanks Cyndi!) I was worn out by the time I got home and spent the afternoon trying to relax. Jon got home this afternoon and was quickly busy with his to do list starting with the garage......still in the garage. But it was nice because the kids got to go outside and run around for the afternoon.
Last night I had a few of my Breast Cancer girls over for dinner and to visit. Lanie and Karen that I met in our many chemo sessions together and then Shari and Tonia that I have met here in Loveland. It is always nice to get together with other women dealing with the same issues your dealing with. It was great to talk about everyones progress and see what everyone was up to. Miss Lanie is ALL done. She had her last surgery about 6 weeks ago. I am SO proud of her! I also was able to pass on some of my scarves to Shari. I had some passed on to me from a gal I met at chemo that had a few different scarves that matched a smaller scarf that her daughter would wear. Olivia and I did that a few times and I think Shari will have fun doing it with her daughters!
It seems like the twins keep getting up earlier and earlier as the week goes on 6:45 on Tues 6:30 yesterday and 6:15 today.......this madness needs to stop and quick! They went from going to bed and being asleep by 8:30 and sleeping until almost 8am and now they just barley fell asleep at 9:45 which is the new normal and getting up before 7. AAHHHH. Those little stinkers!
Tonight I went to my first Relay for Life Captain's meeting. Wow, I am so excited to do this and what an awesome cause. I need some more good fundraising ideas. If anyone has some suggestions leave me a comment or email me at elizajonbrock@msn.com I am prepared to kick some bootie and do all the fundraising I can, I just need some ideas. Also they talked about Luminaria's. If anyone is interested in ording one you can do that through the website or you can email me personally and I will order one for you and even personally decorate it for you. These are to honor people who have survived or passed on from cancer. I will even take pictures of them for you. I think they are on a strictly donation only basis, but I think they recommend a min of $10. Any-who....so excited to do this and PS if anyone is still interested in joining the #2 team then they said we needed to have our roster finalized by next week. So I suppose that will be our deadline. You can email me if you are not able to figure out how to join the team online. Also I got a few posters to hang up and advertise the race if anyone is interested in taking one to hang in your work place and see if people will give us donations I will get it to you along with some cash receipts so they can write off the donations to ACS on their taxes next year. Until next time.........

Tues April 24th

So of course I always have these "problems" when Jon isn't around..... I woke up this morning hearing water dripping from somewhere only to find my window saturated with water. It was dripping out of the top of the window where it meets the drywall......SUPER!!! Not what I would have expected from a 3 year old home. I didn't really have the time to deal with it this morning before radiation so I dried off my wood blinds (thank goodness those weren't ruined) and the wall all around the window and wedged a towel up there to prevent it from dripping all over the place again. I dropped my kids off with my mom and headed over to radiation. Same routine there, except I see the Doc on Tuesday. I had to wait a bit longer today for treatment and my appointment. The office has these one million piece puzzles set up to do while you wait. I think it is to keep you from looking at the clock wondering "If they never see me until 15 min after my scheduled appointment and I am always at least 5 min early, maybe I shouldn't come until 9:30" I am sure nobody else ever waits in the waiting room longer than they are actually being treated or visiting with the doc. I bet I am the only lucky one out there who has experienced that......Yeah right! Small chat with her, but nothing to exciting to report. Keep using the Aveeno lotion twice a day and hopefully it won't get burned very quickly, oh and try and take it easy. Um, right, remember that whole 3 kids thing and a husband that is out of town Monday through Thursday? That might put a damper on the taking it easy routine. Ha! She said, can you go home and take a nap today? I laughed out loud, but told her I would try to get to bed earlier tonight. I don't know why I have such a hard time "slowing down". I just hate feeling like there are things that need to be done, and I am not doing them. Such is the life of a mom I suppose. Always something that needs to be done.
After I picked up the kids we had a pretty relaxing afternoon. It rained the whole day, without stopping. I saw on the news if had been cold enough to be snowing we would have had 19 inches of snow. Glad it wasn't cold enough! But, bringing me back to my window. I had to replace the soaked towel when I got home with a dry one. After Cody napped for 2 hours in there this afternoon it was soaked again and Jon finally called me to check in and heard about the window. He sent our friend Vernon over to rescue me this evening and he fixed it the best he could by caulking the outside of the window, but we will have to fix it after it drys out again probably this weekend. I am not sure what all that is going to involve since the drywall is soaked all around the window as well. Good times! Yet another thing to add to my "Honey do" list. I am just glad it didn't fall completely off the house. I could just imagine myself outside trying to duct tape plastic to the outside of my house....I can just picture that! Anyways, fixed for the time being. Vernon to the rescue!!
Olivia started her swimming lessons tonight at the Chilson center. She was so excited to go and then the first 10 min of the lesson she spent crying and sitting on my lap. Oh wow. Such drama with that one. She finally got in with the class and was fine the rest of the time. Turns out she just didn't want to have to go all the way under water. Hopefully she will do better next week.
Cody has had a little bit of a fever the last 2 days but it has actually helped him sleep better and not big issues with bedtime because he has just been out. Poor little guy. When I woke up this morning to the window problem I walked out of my bedroom and he was just sitting on the couch by himself. So unlike him. He is always loud and wakes up his sister when he gets up and out of bed. He was just sitting there, for who knows how long. Man they are cute when they are being good.
Everyone's favorite thing to do when they see me now is rub my head since my hair is growing back, I have officially had 'bed head' a few times and it is long enough to need some gel so it doesn't lay funny. I remember now why I never had short hair. My 6 or so cowlicks make it grow in a thousand different directions. It is getting pretty thick though which is a nice change and I am not freezing all the time. I look like a chia pet. Ha!

Monday April 23rd

I guess it is time to start a new week, beginning with Jon leaving town this morning. Darn it! I hate it when he goes, but I sure like to watch him leave :-) Ha, Ha. Funny movie lines again. So things with radiation last week went well. I did films on Wednesday and had my first experience the the treatment process, which actually wasn't too bad. You have to walk down this long hallway to the treatment area and it reminded me of Project X when they take the monkeys down to the nuclear reactor....okay not that dramatic with the nice wall paper and decorated walls but that's how I felt. Then they lay you on the hard, metal table that moves around to put you in the right positions. They have these green laser lights that are in different areas of the room that shine on your body to line you up correctly with the tattoos that they put on me the week before last. It's all a very technical process actually. They even have this light that shines on my chest that is a ruler to make sure I am sitting right. The most uncomfortable thing is that I have to keep my arms over my head the entire time and they always fall asleep. After 10 or 15 min it can be pretty uncomfortable. The machine that delivers the radiation is this big circular thing that moves around your body to the different fields they are treating. Then these little teeth like things move inside to get the exact area they are treating. Pretty high tech stuff. No actual pain during the treatment just loud noises and arms and fingers falling asleep are my biggest complaints. By Friday afternoon I did notice that my skin is already a little pinkish and it is tender so I don't like to have anything tight on next to it for more than a few hours. I did feel noticeably more tired this weekend also, and we weren't really doing much so I hope the fatigue doesn't get too bad.
This weekend Jon did all sorts of odds and ends around the house on his to do list like aerating, mowing, cleaning the garage. I took Olivia to a birthday party on Saturday afternoon for Braxton Morby at the swimming pool. She had a good time swimming and playing. On Saturday night we went out with the Valdez's and a newer couple in our ward the Morgan's. We went out to eat and then back to their house to play card games. It was fun getting to know them better and hopefully we will hang out with them again. We seem to have lots in common. Sunday we went to church and I was exhausted by the time we got home. The twins weren't cooperating for nap time very well so I never got the chance to lay down and rest. I was working on and off during the afternoon and evening. I have had allergies so bad this weekend that I have been taking 2 of my allergy pills. I had a horrible sore throat this morning when I woke up from allergies also. Hopefully this will let up soon. I have had such a hard spring already with my allergies. I think it is the trees....
No real exciting plans this week. I have to do radiation every morning and Olivia starts swim lessons on Tuesday night. I also have a meeting for Relay for Life on Thursday. Speaking of which there are still 7 openings on our 2nd team, "We Cancer-vive #2" so if anyone is still wanting to participate make sure to follow the link on the side bar and join the team. I just heard about another gal this weekend that was diagnosed with cancer that just had a baby early that is in the NICU. It is people like her that are fighting to survive for their children that make me glad that I am able to participate in Relay for Life. Keep on fighting girl!

Tues April 17th

I am praying for those poor families that lost someone in the VA killings. What a senseless act of violence. Just goes to show you never know when your time is going to be up, so live life to the fullest!

We had a short but fun weekend. Jon had a buddy getting rid of his little 80 four wheeler so we picked it up for Olivia. Hopefully we will be able to get out to ride a bunch this summer with her and practice. We didn't get up to the mountains much last summer. Here she is with her new toy and pretty pink helmet! What a cool chick!

Jon took her across the street to some dirt hills to ride it a little bit and she had a blast. We also were able to get together with the Barkeys for dinner on Saturday night. Danny and Jon have been buddies since grade school and it was fun to get together with him and Wendy and their boys. (I posted some new pictures on my snapfish link of Easter and some other misc things)
Sunday we went to church and then had our home teachers over in the evening to share a message with us about being prepared financially and starting a food storage that could feed us for awhile if any kind of disaster were to happen or something where we couldn't get to the store or couldn't afford groceries for whatever reason. We have a little food storage but not an awful lot. Jon had to leave for work later on Sunday night at about 7pm.
Monday was pretty uneventful. I went out and did my grocery game shopping in the morning and then went to my Echo appt for the ultra sound on my heart. I finished the grocery shopping in the afternoon while my mom sat with the kids and then we all loaded up and went to her house for dinner. She usually has us over once a week and helps with the kids for the evening and helps me with baths. We were home just in time to not make any messes of the house and get the kids right into bed. Then I got some "me" time and went straight to work. :-) But I actually enjoy working so that was okay. Plus I have a hard time sleeping when Jon isn't here. You think I would be used to it by now, but I don't think I will ever get used to it.
Today Jon's parents came over to watch the kids while I went to a meeting for work for most of the afternoon. It was great to jump back into things at work and am really enjoying what I am doing. I learned all sorts of new things about my co-workers while doing some team building things. All good and interesting things of course! :-) Tonight the kids and I went back to my moms to hang out with them and also my sister Heather and her kids. Our kids don't see each other that often, even though they are only in Milliken so it was fun to visit and let the kids play. Good thing my parents loves us so much!
I go in tomorrow for my chest films and then start radiation on Thurs morning at 9:15. So far I have a permanent person to come and sit with the kids on Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays. I think my mom will just come over the other 2 mornings since it isn't something she can go and be with me for.....I will have to go it alone, unfortunately. I feel like a 2 year old always wanting my mom or someone to go with me to treatments or appointments. For some reason it is just easier when there is someone else there for 'support'.
On another note, we had such an interest in the Relay for Life team that we have started another team. I didn't realize that there was a max on the # of participants per team so we met that last week when our 10th member joined. Thanks Cindy! The 2nd team my sister is listed as the team captain, Heather Snell, and there are a total of 3 people on the team currently. We still have 7 openings so if you're interested....Jump on in, it will be a ton of fun. Staying up all night, or at least most of the night and being in great company. The 2nd team name is listed under We Cancer-vive #2 and is June 9th-10th from 1pm to 8am. Best of all it is for a great cause, to raise money for the American Cancer Society and help fund finding a cure for cancer.

Monday April 17th

I am going to STRAIGHT copy my sister's blog today because it said exactly the same thing I was feeling today with the going ons in the world.....

In lieu of the news about Virginia Tech, I thought it would do us all some good to listen to the words of this Black Eyed Peas song. The lyrics are listed below.

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the loveThe love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love

Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek
Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above'
Cause people got me, got me questionin

'Where is the love (Love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin
'Where is the love?

Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)O
ne world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one worldA
nd something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got(One world, one world)
That's all we got(One world, one world)


I love you guys!

Saturday April 14th

I have been back to working a few hours a day from home since Wednesday and am enjoying the change and feeling "normal" again. I got my phone call from the radiation oncologists office on Friday to schedule my radiation. I will go in next Wednesday to do my chest films and then start my radiation on Thursday at 9:15am. I will go every morning at 9:15 Monday through Friday for 33 days. I am still not sure what I am going to work out for the kids but at least the treatment will only be about 30 min at the office, so I might only be gone from the house for an hour. I guess it could be worse but it is still a pain. I also have to go in for another Echo cardiogram on Monday to make sure my heart muscle is still doing fine being on the herceptin. That is the one concern they have with herceptin, glad that doesn't make me nauseous.
The Children's Place had a huge 4.99 sale this week and it was nice to be able to load up on tons of cute stuff for the kids for next year. Who doesn't love to get stuff on sale? That's the only way I buy my kids stuff. I always have their next season's stuff bought with clearance rack stuff from the end of season. It saves so much money. My sister actually told me about the sale from this website that she frequents called. Vicky's Deals. If anyone is interested in checking out the site, click here: Vicky's Deals.
Jon came home on Thursday, trying to avoid our "big" snow storm. Turns out that it didn't even snow a drop yesterday, which was fine by me. I wish it was just warm already. Yesterday morning I met my friend Shari, that also has breast cancer, to see another woman, Tonia, off to her surgery. Then I went with her to the cancer center in Loveland to get her blood drawn. They tried twice on her arm and then had to go to her port and had a hard time accessing that also. I felt so bad for her. Like it doesn't suck bad enough that you have to do it and then they can't get it the first time. I ended up telling her about the Emla cream I use over mine to numb the skin up so hopefully she will find it more comfortable when using that. Although I have to say I don't know that mine is working as well as it used to. The last few times mine was accessed it did still hurt. I think I am either more sensitive and need to leave it on longer since I have scar tissue there now, OR I got a bum batch of medicine in my new tube of cream. I will try putting it on earlier next time I have chemo. The rest of the day yesterday I worked since Jon was here and he did a bunch of stuff around the house. He finished all our storage selves in the basement so we can check that off the hubby do list. I wonder if there will ever be an end to that list? :-) Probably not, so don't get your hopes up Jon! We have a pretty laid back weekend with not many plans, which will be nice since we were SO busy last weekend running around. Then Jon is back to Montrose for the week on Monday.

Tues April 10th

Wow, that is a few months in a row I have missed out on Buddy check 9 day. But at least I am only one day late this time. So yesterday was buddy check 9 day and I am reminding all the ladies out there that it is that time of the month to do your self breast exam. If you are interested in more information about self breast exam or buddy check 9 day follow the Buddy Check 9 link on the side bar of my blog. Hope everyone is Lump-free!!
Today I went into work to meet with my boss Merrily and am going to be jumping back into working from home doing Insurance Audit Review. I am excited to feel back to some-what normal and am excited to be doing Phone Audit review again, which I love!! It was fun to be able to go into work and see so many familiar faces and all my co-workers that I haven't seen for a few months. I love you guys and am excited to be back to work again. The kids got to hang out with my neighbor Ann while I went into work for a bit and always love playing with her. It has been SO windy here today, I hate the wind. I am glad I don't live in WY. The kids and I went to my mom's for dinner. It was nice of her to feed us and to hang out there. Jon won't be back in town until Friday and I am still waiting to get the call from the radiation oncologist about when I am starting radiation. I expect either this week or next.

Monday April 9th

Time to get back to reality. Jon left again this morning to go back to Montrose for the week. ugh! We had a really busy weekend filled with Easter get togethers. We went to see Jon's mom sing in her Easter Cantata at her church on Friday night. Sounded like they practiced quite a bit and sounded great. The kids did pretty well considering it was past during their bed times.
It has been pretty cold here the last week or so and sprinkled snow on and off all weekend. Man I am ready for it to be nice and warm already! Saturday we had lunch with my parents, my sister Heather's family, and brother Ethan's family. The kids also did an Easter egg hunt after lunch. Saturday afternoon I spent a few hours at the crazy stores getting stuff for the kids' Easter baskets. It was so nice to be able to run errands by myself. No getting kids in and out of the car. Jon and I decided to spend some time with Olivia on Saturday night and we took her out for a date and left the twins with our sitter Kylie Louder. The kids just love her. She decorated eggs with the twins while she was here and said they had a great time. Jon and I took Olivia out for pizza at Old Chicagos and then met Desi, Aislinn, and Isabella at the movies to see Meet the Robinsons. It was a really cute movie and it was fun to get out and do something fun with Jon and Olivia. Needless to say Cody was still awake when we got home from the movie at 9:30 and stayed awake getting in and out of bed until 10:30. That stinker.
Sunday we got up and SURPRISE!! The Easter bunny visited our house in the middle of the night. Olivia got the new Charlotte's Web movie, Alex got a Dora doll, and Cody got a toy lighting McQueen car. We went to church and then went over to Jon's parents in Windsor for a late lunch. His Aunt and Uncle, Clara and John, we also there. The kids had a blast with their baskets from John and Clara and doing an Easter egg hunt in grandpa's train room in the basement. By 5 we were all pooped, especially since the twins didn't nap, and headed home. Everyone fell asleep in the car on the way home. We had a relaxed evening and had "movie night". We watched Olivia's new movie and ate popcorn until bedtime at 8pm. Even though I know they were tired the twins were naughty again and kept getting in and out of bed and goofing around. They didn't quite down until 9:30. I wonder if bedtime will ever be easy again for them?? Probably not until our basement is finished and they have their own rooms. Hopefully we can get that finished this summer!
Last night our friend Vernon Brandt, we call him uncle Vernon, called us to say we had to listen to this new song by Craig Morgan. He is a DJ at the country station K99 on Sunday nights. We turned on the radio to hear his new song called "Tough". I tried to find the video to put on my blog but I guess it isn't out yet. Here are the lyrics:

She's in the kitchen at the crack of dawn Bacon's on, coffee's strong
Kids running wild, taking off their clothes
If she's a nervous wreck, well it never shows
Takes one to football and one to dance
Hits the Y for aerobics class
Drops by the bank, stops at the store
Has on a smile when I walk through the door
The last to go to bed, she'll be the first one up
And I thought I was tough

Chorus
She's strong, pushes on, can't slow her down
She can take anything life dishes out
There was a time Back before she was mine
When I thought I was tough

We sat there five years ago
The doctors let us know
She'd have to fight to live, I broke down and cried
She held me and said it's gonna be alright
She wore that wig to church
Pink ribbon pinned there on her shirt
No room for fear, full of faith
Hands held high singing Amazing Grace
Never once complained, refusing to give up
And I thought I was tough

Chorus

She's strong, pushes on, can't slow her down
She can take anything life dishes out
There was a time Back before she was mine
When I thought I was tough
She's a gentle word, the sweetest kiss
A velvet touch against my skin
I've seen her cry, I've seen her break
But in my eyes, she'll always be strong
There was a time
Back before she was mine
When I thought I was tough


What a cool song huh? After the song was over Vernon said on the radio that he was dedicating that song to me, because it sounded like the song was written about me. That was really sweet of him, I have never had a song on the radio dedicated to me before.
I haven't heard back yet from my radiation oncologist about what my "time slot" will be everyday for radiation or when it will start. She said sometime this week. I am also going to be starting back at work shortly. I was working from home before I was diagnosed doing insurance audit review. It will be nice to start feeling back to normal somewhat. Hopefully I won't get to tired with the radiation.
I just looked at the relay for life site and my team is currently in the #1 spot for money raised. We are at $1,195 raised between 9 people that have signed up for my team. I would still love to have anyone join up and come do the relay or sponsor the team. Sounds like we have a fun group of people so far. I know you would have a great time......so follow the link on the side bar sign up to do the relay for life and support me, our community and the American Cancer Society!!!

Friday April 4th

Wow, I can't believe it is April already. Although I wish the weather was nicer. It has be really chilly here the last few days and even sprinkling snow on and off today. BRRRR!! Jon finally got home this morning after working all night and then driving home this morning. He is sleeping with the twins now while they are napping.
I got my new table delivered on Tuesday morning and I love it!! It is actually big enough to fit all 5 of us plus there is an expansion that will allow up to 8, and I was able to get rid of my high chairs. We can finally have dinner company over with room to all sit at the table. I am slowly easing out of my "baby" house. Here is a picture of my new table.

My friend Aislinn also came over on Tuesday and helped me arrange some different things above my mantle and also add some fake greenery. I defiantly don't have a nack for interior decorating. I think it all turned our really nice. I had my appointment with a plastic surgeon in Denver at 8am on Wednesday morning so Olivia stayed the night as Aislinn's so she could take her to preschool in the morning.

My sister met me out at the interstate at 6:30am to take the twins so I could get to the appointment on time. It was down in Park Meadows. My mom went with me and we saw Dr. Jeremy Williams. He was great. He did a residency or internship or something at John's Hopkins in Baltimore and did a bunch of breast reconstruction plastic surgery. He said that he usually only charges whatever the insurance company will pay him since he has a passion for breast cancer patients. He recommended that since I am having radiation treatment to look into a free flap reconstruction surgery and more specifically the d.i.e.p flap or s.g.a.p. since I am so thin. These are both micro surgical procedures and they aren't done in Colorado. He thought that the closest place that they were done was at the Mayo clinic in Scottsdale. Dr. Williams did say that it would be very difficult to do reconstruction without transplanted tissue in the breast. At least with this procedure they aren't moving muscles around, only taking skin and fat. He did a bunch of these surgeries at Johns Hopkins but it is a very technical procedure and requires a few different surgeons. They just don't have any facilities out here in CO at this time. He wants to start one in the next couple of years. I really did like the doctor a lot though and would recommend him to anyone wanting to stay here for surgery. When I got home I researched online a bit and found a surgeon at the Huntsman Cancer Hospital in Salt Lake. I also had received an email from a gal in my Hope Lives! support group that had this procedure done in Salt Lake by another surgeon. I spent a few hours on the phone with her on Tuesday night getting to know her and chatting about our cancer experiences. Her surgeon's name was Dr. Chen and she really liked her and is pleased with her results. Dr. Williams said I should wait a least 6 months before doing reconstruction after I stop radiation to let my body heal. I think that I will try and schedule a consultation with this Dr. Chen sometime after I am finished with radiation. It will also be nice to have someone in Salt Lake do the procedure since I have family there and it is also a workable commute. Not as expensive as flying to Baltimore a few times and paying for lodging at least.

Thursday I was back in for Heceptin. I had the lovely "Herceptin" taste in my mouth for the rest of the day. Jon's parents took me and the kids to lunch at Chick fil A. The food is much better there than McDonalds. Bev and Vern decided that they wanted to try and have Olivia stay the night and see how she did. They took Olivia for the night so it was just the twins and me again. We had a quiet afternoon with napping and I went through a huge box of clothes that were hand me downs from Olivia and things I had bought on sale last year for the kids this summer. Last night I went to a meeting to help organize committees for the big Hope Lives! gala in October. It was fun to hear about the exciting plans they have for this year's big fund raiser. This is the support group that provides 2 services a month for each of their clients currently in treatment for breast, ovarian, or cervical cancer. I use my 2 services each month for Merry Maids to come and clean my house but they offer massage therapy, acupuncture, reike, and all sorts of other things. It costs about $1600 a year for one patient to receive these services so they really count on these fund raisers in the community. I have really appreciated everything that they have done for me.

Today I went in to see Dr. Lisella, my radiation oncologist. She went over the process with me and explained the radiation treatment to me. She said that there were actually four fields of radiation and that they would last between 2 and 3 min each, everyday for 6 weeks. They would also do a few days of extra doses on the actual mastectomy scar since breast cancer is more prone to returning in the scar area. They also had to take some pictures, do a cat scan, and do my tattoo markings to indicate the radiation field. I have 4 black tattoo dots now to keep forever. one on each of my sides under my arms and then 2 in the middle of my sternum between my breasts. Those really weren't very pleasant to get. They only took a second a piece but they feel like a painful shot, especially the ones on my sternum since the bone was right there. They should call me next week sometime with my daily appointment time and to let me know what day they will start my treatment. Dr. Lisella said that the radiation area does hit a small part of my lungs but less than 4% of patients have lasting effects in their lungs and the small percentage that do can be treated with an oral steroid for a short term. She said the most common side effect I should experience are fatigue or low blood count. No hair loss or nausea. She also said that I was okay to use whatever creams or lotions on the area and even my essential oils if I wanted. I liked her and all the nurses there seemed great.

The merry maids came this morning and also my neighbor Ann was over this morning when I got home. Ann and one of my other neighbors Brenda made me a beautiful red lap quilt. She also brought the kids some Easter goodies and a rabbit cake from Schmidts bakery. Their cakes are always so yummy and I am really excited to dig into it later. We are going to Jon's parents church later tonight in Windsor to hear his mom sing in their Easter Cantata. I sure hope the kids will sit and behave through it. The weather here just makes me want to sit at home in front of the fireplace on the couch and watch a movie!

I am still looking for people to join my relay for life team and walk the relay with us. If you are interested it is the weekend of June 9th-10th here in Loveland and costs 10 bucks per participant. My team name is "We Cancer-vive". Follow the link on the side bar of my blog to sign up!

Monday April 2nd

It is defiantly turned out to be your typical Monday, wishing you had more of a weekend. Jon was done with work on Thursday night and met up with his buddy Brad and they went out to Moab to play on Friday and Saturday. I think they both had a great time and it was good for Jon to be able to do something fun and get away from working constantly for the last 3 weeks.
Saturday morning I fought with the twins for the millionth time about having to sit in their high chairs for breakfast and not at the table. Ever since we got back from visiting at my sister's house and they got to sit at the table they have thrown fits about sitting in high chairs at every meal. Our kitchen table only is big enough for 4 chairs and so we don't have them up there yet. So Saturday I decided that I would go pick out a new dining room table that fits our whole family. After walking around American Furniture Warehouse for 2 hours with the kids and my friend Alyssa, I finally picked one out and ordered it. It will be delivered tomorrow morning and I am so excited. Funny how you get excited about the silliest things when your a grown up. I already have booster seats for them that we used last summer in the trailer when we would go camping. It will be nice to have a place for everyone to sit and eat during meal time and I can chuck those high chairs. This is the first piece of furniture I have ever bought, everything else we have inherited from a hand me down so that was also a bit exciting. I will have to post a picture of it after it gets here tomorrow.
I went to a surprise party for a girlfriend on Saturday night for a couple hours so that was nice to get out and have some adult time without the kids. Jon didn't get home until after 11 on Saturday night so I didn't get to see him much this weekend.
Yesterday we just hung out at home for most of the day. I watched the morning session of General Conference which we get on BYU TV on our satelight. Jon played outside with the kids all morning and then we went to the park before dinner. Needless to say one day wasn't really long enough to get my fill of him before he turned around and left again this morning. He will be gone again until Thursday night or Friday morning in Montrose.
This morning I was able to parent help in Olivia's preschool class which was a lot of fun and I know she really likes it. Her teacher Mrs. Miller is wonderful with the kids and Olivia just loves her. It is so cute to see all those kids who want to share about their weekends and the things that they get excited about.
I have been saving my coupons for the last few weeks out of the Sunday paper and did the grocery game this week. I must say I saved a ton of money on the stuff that I bought. If anyone is interested in checking it out go to www.thegrocerygame.com and you can sign up for a free 8 week trial for $1. Use my email address for who referred you and I can get a few weeks free. It is elizajonbrock@msn.com I think it will save us a bunch of money in groceries and toiletries.
I am still pumped about the relay for life and have already formed a team of 5 people. We can use anyone who is interested. Just follow the like on the side bar to join the team. It is $10 per participant and is the weekend of June 9th-10th.

Celebration on the Hill video

I found this cool song and video of the Celebration on the Hill in 2006. I disabled the music on my blog for awhile so everyone can watch and listen to this. If you view this posting when I have music on the blog just go down to the bottome of the blog and hit the stop button on the music video. To watch this just click play in the center of the screen. It might not work if you have dial up internet. It is inspirational! Enjoy!


Celebration on the Hill 2006

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Friday March 30th

RELAY FOR LIFE BABY!!

Okay if you haven't guessed, I have a new found "project" for the next few months. I went to a community cancer meeting last night and heard all about Relay for Life. Loveland is having their relay for life June 9th and 10th. My friends Amanda and Emmy Anderson told me all about this event. Amanda's husband and Emmy's brother had cancer a few years ago and they have been passionate about the relay ever since. Emmy even started working for the American Cancer Society doing patient navigation at Boulder Community Hospital. She was a great resource of information to me when I was first diagnosed. For those of you that haven't heard of relay their website says it best "At events in 4,800 communities nationwide, teams of families, friends and coworkers join together to CELEBRATE the lives of those who have battled cancer, REMEMBER those lost and FIGHT BACK against a disease that takes too much." It goes on to say "Every dollar you raise makes a difference to people in your community whose lives are touched by cancer. The Society has contributed to almost every major discovery in cancer research. Millions of lives have been saved as a result, including people you may know. For those people and countless others, the research the Society has funded is resulting in better ways to prevent, detect, and treat cancer.
The American Cancer Society will also continue to exert influence on all levels of government, advocating for stronger policies and enacting legislation that will save lives and conquer cancer." This not only supports breast cancer but ALL types of cancer research. You couldn't ask for a better cause to support.
Amanda told me that the Loveland race will start at 1pm and and go until 8am on Sunday morning. The idea is that cancer never stops and neither will we until we find a cure. Someone from your team must be walking the track at all times. She said that during the day they will have bounce houses and face painting to get the families with small children more involved which is perfect for our family. I am so excited to have not only be participating in relay for the first time this year but to have also formed a team. My team name is "We Cancer-vive" I will put a link on the side bar of my blog to find out more about the relay for life in general. I would love to have anyone join my team and come support not only me but the thousands of people that are affected and touched by cancer. I am hoping to get friends, family, co workers, my other cancer and chemo buddies and whoever else is interested to sign up to be on my team. If you can't stay for the whole relay even just a little bit of your time would be awesome. I know lots of you that read my blog aren't from the area either. Guess what?? You can still help me out by sponsoring me. CLICK HERE This is the main page for the loveland relay for life. On the side bar you can either click "sign up" or "sponsor a participant". To sponsor me you will have to enter my name Eliza Brock. Or to sign up for the team we are team "We Cancer-vive". It costs $10 a person to be on the team and if you are a survivor it is free. You can also personally make a donation in your name if you are a survivor like I did. I hope that everyone will be able to participate by either being on the team or sponsoring me. That is a darn long time to be walking so I hope that I get alot of supporters and sponsors. Expect me to bug everyone about this until it is over :-) I am truly excited to be doing this for my community and to fight cancer!!

Thurs March 29th

This morning I got up bright and early and spoke to the Junior's seminary class. Seminary is a class that the high school students go to every school day at 6am. During the 4 years of high school they study the four gospels of our church. The old testament, new testament, book of Mormon, and doctrine and covenants. They wanted me to share my about my experience with personal revelation and how heavenly father answers our prayers. Many of my prayers have been answered during my experience with cancer. The ones I talked about were my experience of being led to my oncologist Dr. Medgyesy in the beginning, starting my blog, and my decisions with surgery. I have learned so much through this experience, especially about faith and finding faith in my heavenly father. What a great way it was to start out the day with a spiritual lesson. (although I didn't appreciate it that much when I was a teenager) It was a sweet experience to be able to share my testimony and experiences with the youth. I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did.
The other crazy thing I woke up to this morning was snow! Wow, it is spring here in CO. The high 60's one day and snowing the next. I know spring is here when my allergies get crazy. I have been taking my allergy meds for the last couple weeks on and off and am waiting for my insurance to pre-authorize my regular allergy med. I must say the insurance companies are getting a bit ridiculous on what they will and won't cover on allergy medication. Give me a break, don't we have better things to be picky about? Oh well, whatever the cost I will pay it since I can't live without it. Allergy season is miserable.
So my kids have really been pushing my buttons the last couple days. It is hard to go day to day with no break when my husband is out of town. Nights with the twins in their toddler beds seem to be getting worse instead of better. Out of bed, talking and laughing at one another, they will even get up and turn the lights on and off. Stinkers. I am not sure what else to do besides close their door (which they hate) and keep putting them back in bed.....Over and over again.
I went for my massage on Tuesday night which was great as always. The girl I go to is in Fort Collins and does it out of her house. Her name is Nichole Crabtree and if anyone is looking for a good massage therapist I would highly recommend her. Just let me know and I will get you her info.
Last night I went to a dinner group that is made up of breast cancer survivors and women currently in treatment. My friend Lanie brought me and it was a great time. It was nice to meet other women that have experienced the same thing as me and are also upbeat and positive with a positive outlook on life. I am really looking forward to meeting with this group again. My mom and dad came over to watch my kids and picked up my house and did all my dishes. It was so sweet of them to help me out. It's hard to keep up with everything and am grateful I am not a single mom.

Monday March 26th

Jon came home late on Thursday night and was here until this morning. It was so nice to have him home, I wish he could have been here longer though. Friday Jon and I took the kids to a friends house in the afternoon (thanks Colleen!) and went to get some pictures taken of us with bald heads. I saw a show on TV where the lady and her husband did pictures when she was going through chemo that were really sweet. So Jon shaved his head again and we took some pictures. I really like them. I added them as a slide show on the side bar of the page.
On Friday night we went out to eat and to see a movie with Desi and Aislinn. We saw premonition with Saundra Bullock. It isn't a must see, I would wait to rent it, but I don't want to give anything way and spoil the end. At the theater we saw a group of teenagers that were actually dressed up in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle costumes. It was hilarious!! I remember watching those movies when I was a kid and they have another one out now that just hit theatres. But it is known as TMNT, now.....Aislinn and I were laughing.
rained all night on Friday and Jon got up on Saturday and decided he wanted to go four wheeling. He took the twins and Desi and they went up to Left Hand Canyon by Boulder and I think had a good time. He doesn't get to play in his jeep very often so I am sure he had a good time. I love driving it around when it is nice outside and have driven it a few days the last couple of weeks. I have always gotten a kick out of the looks that I get driving that big four wheeling machine. Now I get the looks for driving it and for being bald!! I have pretty much gone without my hat or scarf on for the past few weeks since it has been so nice. Saturday night we went out to Courtnee and Seth's house and let all our kids run around and Bar B Que.
On Sunday we went to church in the morning. It was fast and testimony meeting. In our church we have fast and testimony meeting once a month where members are given the opportunity to stand up in front of the congregation to bear their testimonies. I was able to take the opportunity to stand and bear mine and that is always a neat and spiritual experience. I know that heavenly father answers prayers and I am thankful for personal revelation and being able to know what decision was right for me with surgery. I am thankful for a loving husband, healthy children, an awesome family, wonderful friends, and a charitable ward family. Without this support system I would be nothing. I also have a testimony of paying tithing. It seems that no matter how hard this principal is for us, as long as we have paid our tithing we have always had the money to pay our medical bills and other bills. When ever we have been short, Jon has always had the opportunity to work overtime or money has come from other places. This next weekend is general conference weekend where our prophet and general authorities speak to us. I am grateful for a latter day prophet to lead and guide us. If anyone is interested in learning more about my church feel free to click this link for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. The gospel has been key in helping me through this and most other trials in my life.
Sunday night we got together with our friends Brad and Patti. Jon has worked for a few years up until recently. They have twin boys that are 15 months and it is always fun to see them, even though we haven't been able to hang out very often due to every one's busy schedules. We planned some "hopeful" camping trips on both Saturday and Sunday night. We love the outdoors and camping. Hopefully we will be able to get our tent trailer and four wheelers out a bunch this summer.
This morning Jon left again for Montrose. He is there for the next 2 weeks and might be home for the weekend, but we aren't sure yet. I wonder what it would be like to have a husband who worked a regular 9 to 5 job here in town....I am jealous of you ladies with husbands who have that schedule!! My kids sure miss their daddy when he is gone, and me too!! The twins and I sat outside this morning and watched the tractors fixing the asphalt on our street. Cody is obsessed with trucks and tractors and they were right up close on our street so he was loving life this morning. He wasn't going to leave mom's lap though with that loud, huge tractor right in front of him though. It was cute. I went down to the Flat Iron Mall with Aislinn this afternoon. We ventured out with our 5 kids during the afternoon when 1/2 of them should have been napping. What were we thinking? It actually wasn't too bad and we did get some fun window shopping in. I rarely buy anything unless it is on sale, but it is always fun to look.
I have next week jam packed with Dr. appointments. I am going down to Denver to get a 2nd opinion on reconstruction and I need to follow up with some ladies from the Hope Lives support group in Fort Collins on their experiences with it. I have chemo next Thursday and then see the radiation oncologist next Friday. When it rains it pours I suppose. This week I am getting a massage tomorrow night, which I am SO looking forward to! Then on Wednesday I was invited to attend a dinner for Hope Lives and Thursday a community meeting about Cancer in our community and filling needs better with support groups, education, etc. Still keeping busy even though the husband is away. I am still sore from surgery, but getting settled into my new normal of stuffing my bra and being uncomfortable. I hear that it gets better, but takes awhile so I will keep waiting. For this moment I am just happy to feel healthy enough to be out and about and feeling close to normal.
I love this song on my blog. It is so upbeat and has a message I can relate to "When all you got to keep is strong Move along, move along like I know you do And even when your hope is gone Move along, move along just to make it through". Jenn, I double checked the lyrics online to make sure they were singing what I thought! (I am famous for singing the wrong lyrics :-)

Thurs March 22nd

Good news, Jon is finally coming home tonight after being gone for 2 weeks. I don't think he will be home until late but it will be great to finally see him and have the weekend to spend as a family. I took some pictures of the wall display I hung up from Rod Works. Thanks for your help Aislinn! I had to take them from the side a bit since my hallway is narrow and I couldn't fit it all in the picture taking it straight on, but you get the idea. Here it is:



I think that it turned out really cute. Good thing I don't have more than 3 kids, it wouldn't have fit on the wall :-)
I talked to my nurse practitioner today about reconstruction options. She told me that usually when they put expanders in before radiation they have to be filled all the way before radiation begins. Since I didn't do surgery before I started chemo that really isn't an option for me since it takes months to fill expanders and I only have a short window in which I need to start radiation. She did tell me that she would refer me to a great surgeon in Denver that they have worked with before that has done tons of reconstruction surgeries and that would know better ALL the different options that I could do. I thought I might also look into microsurgery which would all consist of transplanting tissue (skin) but not muscles. In this surgery they can take the skin from your buttocks, tummy, back, etc but they have to reconnect blood vessels so it is very extensive surgery. I have also given my name to a support group in Fort Collins, Hope Lives, to see if they have other clients that might be able to assist me. We will see where that takes me....

Wed March 21st

Yesterday I had both my Oncology appt and surgeon post op appointment. My oncologist said that she is happy that things are going so well and that I have a 90% chance of being cured.....good odds I would say. She also said that she would have my radiation oncologists office give me a call this week and set up an appointment to meet with them before I start radiation. I will continue with Herceptin every 3 weeks and see the Dr. or her nurse practitioner every 6 weeks.
My surgeon said everything is looking well and healing well. He couldn't feel any spots that filled with fluid. I have my full range of motion in my arm but there are still parts that are pretty uncomfortable. I can do pretty much anything I NEED to do, but can't be lifting the kids up and down all day long. Only up and down from their chairs and things a few times a day. He said that I could start radiation anytime from 4 to 6 weeks post surgery. It has been 3 weeks today. He said that I would only need to see him again if I started to have problems.
Olivia and I did some shopping last night with my mom and sister and left the twins with a sitter it was fun to get out with only her. She is so easy by herself, 3 is just too hard when I am alone. Also I guess it is safe to share, my sister Toni found out she was pregnant last week!!! Her and her husband have been doing fertility treatments for awhile and we are so excited that she is pregnant. Congrats Toni and Doug!
Today was nothing exciting we just hung out at the house. I had spoken with a girlfriend of mine Claude that I met at chemo this evening about reconstruction. I am yet again confused by all of this. I am constantly being told different stories of what you can or can't do with each treatment and have decided that it is just that every plastic surgeon has a different opinion which is a little frustrating. I will be making some phone calls tomorrow to other plastic surgeons about their feelings with radiation and reconstruction. I have heard that some surgeons will place tissue expander's in before radiation and avoid having to do a TRAM surgery. So much research to do, and now I wish that I would have done all this before I had my mastectomy instead of trusting my first opinion. We will see what I find out.

Monday March 19th

We are back from Salt Lake and had a blast! I took the kids over with my Mom to see my sister Toni and her husband Doug. On Wednesday night when I got the mail I had received this care package from a new friend I met in Oklahoma. Robyn had both her daughters Katelyn's and Madelyn's school classes and Katelyn's activity girls group at church write me get well cards. This was so neat. Kids are the cutest. They say the cutest things like your a great gal, cute little knock knock jokes, god is with you, don't be afraid, I love you, our prayers are with you, you're brave. I love it. Oh the faith of a child. I wish we could all be like that. Robyn also made me 2 little scrapbooks that are all decorated, all I have to do is add the pictures. I love them. Thanks Robyn! Thanks to everyone else that has sent cards and well wishes, you guys have really helped keep my spirits up and strong and I love you all!!
We left on Thursday at about 6am and had a long car ride over. After about an hour of turning around every 2 min to get the kids this or that my mom and I had to change places and she catered to their every need all the way over to Utah. I just couldn't keep doing that with all the stretching and just having surgery. Thank goodness for the DVD player in the car. What a life saver! When we got to Salt Lake we stopped to see my grandpa Harris. It was nice to be able to visit with him as I haven't seen him for a long time. I also got to see my Uncle Jim for a bit. It is always nice to be able to visit and see family. We only stayed for about an hour before leaving and heading down to Lehi where my sister lives. When we got there she took the kids over to the park to let them run around. She lives right by the railroad tracks so they also got to see a lot of trains. Cody was in heaven.
On Friday we took the kids to Cabella's in the morning to see all the stuffed animals and their fish tank. They kids enjoyed it and I know if Jon were there he would have been there for hours. (Poor guy has been working for 2 weeks straight and won't be back until Thursday) We also got to see a tiny bear cub that was there from Yellowstone Park. They sure are cute when they are small.

We took the kids home to nap (they had a horrible night) and Uncle Doug watched them while Toni and I went to Rod Works. It is this awesome home interiors store that I love. I wish we had one here. Click the words above to visit their home page. I bought some cute things to put up on the wall to display my kids pictures. I will take a picture of it when I finally put it up. That afternoon we took the kids to the Lehi city center pool. It is also awesome, I wish we had something like that here. They have park equipment in this zero entry pool that is only a foot and a half deep. They also have these foam slides that the kids can go up and down by themselves. If we had a pool like that here I would live at the pool. We met up with my cousin Corrine and her kids. I couldn't swim because of the surgery so I didn't get to visit much with her but it was still good to see her.

On Saturday we went the aquarium in Sandy. They had all sorts of fish, even Nemo and Dori! We also got to touch sting rays in their touch pool. I forgot my camera here so I have to get those pictures from my sister, but it was a lot of fun to see sharks and octopus and all sorts of fish. (I also posted more pictures on my link) After naps that afternoon we went to a place called Farm Country by my sister's house. They keep farm animals and the kids get to walk around and see and pet the animals. They had calfs, cows, horses, goats, sheep, a donkey, ducks, chicken, turkeys, and lamas.

They also got to go on a pony ride and a wagon ride that was pulled by a tractor.

Cody was in such a horrible mood and was throwing a fit the whole time we were there. In fact all my kids were high maintenance there. It was hard to have both my sister and her husband there to help me and have all the kids want me to hold them. We still had fun though. Afterwards we went to dinner at Applebee's. Since it was so nice there this weekend I went without a hat or scarf. It gets old having people stare at me all the time. I feel like they are thinking "Brittany Spears wannabe". I would prefer to wear a sign that says I have cancer, and no I am not voluntarily bald. Maybe I will get a shirt made :-) My sister reminded me of this movie line in The Labyrinth where a statue says "It's VERY rude to stare". That made me laugh. Maybe I will say that to someone sometime.....

We left Toni's on Sunday morning a little before 9am. We had only been on the road for an hour when Alex decided that she was going to get car sick and threw up in her car seat.....yum. Of course we had just past the rest stop and had to just pull over on the side of the interstate to clean her up. I kept having those images from police shows on TV where other cars slam into parked cars on the side of the interstate. Not a fun thing to do, pull over on the side of the road when the cars are passing by you at 75 plus miles an hour. Needless to say we survived and got back on the road. Of course I drove most of the way home again and the kids never fell asleep until about 10 min outside of Fort Collins which is about 30 min from the house. Those stinkers!! I was so exhausted last night that I could barley get out of bed when Cody started crying in the middle of the night. He has woken up on and off the last few weeks with nightmares I think. He always says "choo choos, choo choos", poor guy must be thinking that trains are coming to get him or something. Too bad he can't tell me what he is dreaming about.

Most of the day was just hanging around cleaning up from the trip today. Laundry, unpacking, dishes, etc. Olivia had school this morning and then played with the neighbors this afternoon. Which was nice because I took a nap with the twins. I ran errands this evening and have started doing the grocery game. After I have saved coupons for a few weeks it will really save me lots of money. Except when I went this evening and handed the checker my coupons, I was trying to keep track of 3 kids who wanted to ride the horse. By the time I got back to the house I realized she never scanned the coupons. So I have to go back to the store tomorrow and get refunded for the coupons. What a pain. This guys stopped me on the way out and said "Sorry to bother you Mame but I just wanted to say, keep fighting. You have to stay strong for you kids. You look like a fighter and I wish you luck." Random, so nice. Just when I think I am going to loose my mind because my kids have been at the grocery store too long, heavenly father sends me an angel to remind me that everything is going to be OK, keep your patience a little longer and you will be through this crappiest time.

I must say that I am recovering well and can do pretty much anything that needs to be done. I just can't things for too long. I can pick up the kids for awhile but can't be doing it all day. I am still taking Tylenol or ibuprofen but am feeling better and better everyday. I can't wait until Jon comes home on Thursday. I feel like I haven't seen him for months. Tomorrow I have an appointment with both my oncologist and my surgeon. Hopefully I will find out what the plan is for radiation so I can get that over with. My hair is now growing back all over my head. It has started to grow in all the spots that were bald only a few weeks ago and feels nice to have a little bit of hair covering my head. Only 3 weeks after my surgery I am already sick of stuffing my bra with pads. Good thing I am small breasted and don't have to come up with very much to fill out my bra. It is hard to look at myself in the mirror but I am so thankful that the cancer is gone and I get to be here with my kids, husband, and family. Now I just have to do everything I can to make sure that it stays gone......Darn Cancer!